This season we're going to be trying a new News & Notes format. Instead of the weekly column (which we all know was more of a "non-column" last season), I'll be doing more of a blog-type column. That is, whenever the mood strikes, be it stats night on Monday, the middle of a West Coast game on Wednesday night, or maybe even a Friday morning before I leave for work, I'll come here and post entries. Sometimes it will be a paragraph or two, sometimes longer.

I'll make sure I put a date on everything so you can easily tell what's new from what you may have already read. So feel free to come to this page often, or continue checking in once a week as the stats update, to check out and catch up on the latest entries in what I hope to be a season long blog.

If anyone else has anything to contribute, I'll be more than happy to post it here, with all credit given to the author of course. And if we get one of our infamous 20+ reply e-mail threads going, I may also opt to copy that into this space as well so it's saved for all posterity.

April 16th, 2007

AMENDMENT TO RULES OF THE FULL MONTY FANTASY BASEBALL LEAGUE

All moves for a given week most be received by The Commish before the first pitch of the first game played on Monday.

Early in the season the first game on Monday usually starts at 1:05 EST, which means that any owners living on the West Coast, and who do not deem themselves "morning people", should be advised to send in their moves on Sunday night to ensure they are received on-time.

An exception to this rule will be made for the annual mid-April Patriots Day game played by the Red Sox on the morning of the running of the Boston Marathon, with the game usually beginning around 10AM of that day.

FOR PATRIOTS DAY ONLY, the following transaction rules apply:

- All moves most be received by The Commish before the first pitch of the earliest game played that Monday that does not include the Boston Red Sox or their opponent.
- Anyone attempting to take advantage of this rule by picking up a free agent player who had a good game in the morning at Fenway (with the value of a "good game" being determined solely at The Commish's discretion), and whose move is received after the game has started, will have said move summarily disqualified.
- Claiming any Kenyans not on a major league roster is not allowed. It is a long fabled myth that adding the Boston Marathon winner to your roster might increase your stolen bases totals...

On a not even remotely related note...

For those of you who have not yet seen the sneak preview of Doug's new exercise/workout video (as he promised Kevin Shanley in the caption of the 2nd picture in this season's first News & Notes entry titled "Scenes From Draft Day"), just click here to have a look at Doug demonstrating the perfect "Quat Thrust" (don't worry it's clean and "safe for work").

I'm now taking votes for the title of the exercise video with the winning suggestion to be publised in a future News & Notes entry. The current leader is "Sweatin' To The Oldies (On Walt's Pitching Staff)"

April 11th, 2007

Top 10 Ways To Tell Your Fantasy Baseball Team Is In Trouble

10. Jimmy Rollins was overheard guaranteeing that your team will win the league this season
9. You have players who've played just two games thus far and they are not from Seattle or Cleveland
8. Don Imus just referred to your outfield as "a bunch of nappy-headed hos"
7. You wish they'd suspended Andruw, Chipper or Jacque instead of Pac-Man Jones
6. Your closer has already been demoted and relegated to mop-up duty; cleaning the floor at the all night Sonic Burger...
5. A-Rod has more home runs than your entire team
4. You've already looked up the stats for Jack Wilson to see if he might be able to help your infield
3. You are looking forward to watching Vancouver Canucks playoff games
2. Your star Japanese pitcher is named Kei instead of Dice-K
... and the #1 way to tell your fantasy baseball team is in trouble ...
1. The APR on your credit card is lower than your team ERA!

April 8th, 2007

Greetings from Aruba! Or as they say here "Bon Bini"! I'm sitting here in a straw hut-like thing on the beach, sipping a Corona (with lime of course) and typing up this News & Notes entry using a wireless connection available from the hotel behind me. It's about 81 degrees out with a slight breeze and as long as I avoid getting too much sand in this keyboard I'm going to try to show you via a YouTube clip exactly what it looks like here. I assume most of you are familiar with how YouTube works? Just click on the play button below and click on the speaker looking thing on the lower right to adjust sound. Beware if you're at work for two reasons. First, not sure if you're allowed to play videos with sound so I don't want to get anyone in trouble and secondly, if you're toiling away at the office (especially on a Monday) and see where I am right now, you're probably going to curse out loud and possibly offend someone in a neighboring cube... Oh and if you do watch the clip, please ignore the goofy guy at the end, that's not me...

What can I say "hate the vacation not the vacationer OK"? Meanwhile, as I sit here sipping on my second Corona; they have waitress service on the beach too did I mention that? I know, I know, it rhymes with "blue truck" (if you flip the words around), I see that it's not as nice in Cleveland as it is here, eh? Matter of fact, a quick YouTube search shows me that things look a little something like this...

Kind of brings a new meaning to the phrase "polar opposites", eh? I really should add something a little more baseball related to this post, shouldn't I? OK, then how's your team doing the first week of the season? If it's anything like mine I bet you're wishing for some good pitching, aren't you? Unless of course, you drafted that Matsuzaka guy who had a very nice 10 Dice-Ks in his major league debut! Well, if things look real bad, just take some solace in the fact that you don't have this guy on your staff... It's Cincinnati mayor Mike Mallory, throwing out the first pitch on Opening Day at The Great American Ballpark. I'm not sure if "throwing" is the correct word here as this is pretty much the worst "first pitch" ever, but see for yourself...

As Bob Uecker would say "jusssssttt a bit outside!"... I'll be back sometime next weekend (I leave Paradise on Friday) with a little longer post and we'll take a trip around our league, see who's gotten out of the gate quickly and who might be looking forward to football season already. Monday is karaoke night here at the resort so what do you say we blow the dust off the Commish's Office Karaoke Machine and fadeout with the first mini song parody of the season as we pay a little tribute to the end of Spring Training and all the shenanigans that went on just before Draft Day. Put on your best Don Henley voice and sing along to the tune of "Sunset Grill"...

Let's log on and look at Manny's grill

And watch the eBay bids get high
Watch Tony Larussa walk around and stumble
Get in his car and attempt to drive
Ain't it a little bit cold for springtime?
Oh well, have another beer
We'll draft in Mahwah, you all know the way
And all our friends are here
Down at the Sunset Grill (bidding on Manny's grill)...

... did I just hear someone say "have another beer"? Waitress, could I get another Corona please? Oh and a bucket for my reader friends here as well (you're welcome!)... 'til next time...

April 1st, 2007

For our first entry of the season, here's a gallery of photos which I've titled. "Scenes From Draft Day"...

Click here to read previous "News and Notes" installments...