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Quick, break up the Yankees! Nine straight wins as of the time this column went to press and what do you know, it looks like the Bronx Bombers are on track once again, one game over .500 and pushing their way back into contention in the AL East. So that being said, it's time for the first pop quiz of the season! Break out your #2 pencils for the 1st Annual Mid-May Yankee Quiz. Heads forward, eyes on your own paper, you'll have 20 minutes to complete this twenty question quiz. Good luck…
(1) Who's most responsible for the Yankees recent success
a) Tino
b) Cano
c) Giacomo
d) All of the above
(2) The best team that the Yankees have beaten in this 9-game and counting streak is
a) The Oakland A's
b) The Seattle Mariners
c) Chico's Bail Bonds
d) those kids from The Sandlot 2 (just released on DVD!)
(3) George Steinbrenner's entry into The Preakness will be
a) Bellamy Road
b) Tony Womack
c) Pie Oh My
d) None of the above
(4) The pitcher the Yanks were forced to call up from AA when "the sky was falling" prior to their current win streak was
a) Sean Henn
b) Sean Penn
c) Jill Hennessey
d) Henny Penny
(5) The best place for Jason Giambi right now is
a) On the end of the Yankee bench
b) Hitting 8th as the full time DH
c) In Columbus
d) In line at the glue factory behind Bellamy Road
(6) Which of the following is stronger and more capable of playing every day
a) The right wing of Bernie Williams
b) The NY Rangers right wing
c) The chicken wings found at the Stadium concession stands
d) None of the above
(7) Which of the following is higher
a) The number of wins Jon Lieber has for the Phillies
b) The number of surgeries awaiting Jaret Wright during the length of his Yankee contract
c) The number of tantrums left to be thrown by Kevin Brown
d) Bellamy Road's finish in the Kentucky Derby
(8) The role of "light hitting Hispanic backup middle infielder" is being played this season by
a) Enrique Wilson
b) Miguel Cairo
c) Rey Sanchez
d) Marc Anthony
(9) Using the rules of the now infamous Yankee Drinking Game, how many sips of beer are required in the following scenario: Kevin Brown gives up a ground ball single that goes past a diving Jeter, then scowls at Derek as he's dusting himself off in between pitches.
a) 2
b) 3
c) 5
d) 7
(10) The brand of beer thrown at Jason Giambi by a fan in Oakland was
a) Coors Light
b) either Genny Cream or Bud Clear
c) Miller HGH
d) who cares what kind of beer it was, I say it should've been a chair!
(11) Recently released middle reliever Steve Karsay is most likely to show up next
a) In the Texas Rangers bullpen
b) Floating face down in the East River
c) Collecting his unemployment check
d) In an episode of Desperate Housewives
(12) If the Yankees were to host Vladimir Guerrero's team at Yankee Stadium, how should the announcer introduce the visiting team
a) The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
b) 25 guys from Orange County and a few coaches and trainers tagging along for the ride
c) Sorry folks, this ain't the Dodgers despite the "LA" on the scoreboard.
d) The Anaheim Angels and screw you if you don't like it, I ain't changing what I've been doing for the past few years just because some guy wants to affiliate his team with grandeur of Los Angeles instead of the cesspool that is Anaheim.
(13) The female lead who starred with Chien-Ming Wang in the movie "Sixteen Candles" was
a) Ally Sheedy
b) Molly Ringwald
c) Suzyn Waldman
d) Alex Rodriguez
(14) Of the following, which group has Garry Sheffield not had difficulty with this season
a) Intoxicated fans in the right field seats at Fenway Park
b) Nosy beat reporters asking about steroids
c) BALCO grand jury members asking about steroids
d) Members of the Michael Jackson defense team asking about steroids in a Coke can
(15) Hideki Matsui's favorite sushi is
a) Sashimi
b) Maki-nori Otsuka
c) Bellamy Roll
d) Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim California Roll
(16) Which of the following is not currently a member of the Yankee pitching staff
a) Randy Johnson
b) Flash Gordon
c) Ming The Merciless
d) Dale Arden
(17) The Yankees backup catcher is
a) Jorge Posada's twin brother Chicken Posada
b) John Flaherty
c) that guy from The King of Queens
d) The Yankees have a backup catcher?
(18) Should the Yankees fail to make the playoffs; which of the following has the best chance of being the team's manager in 2006?
a) Don Mattingly
b) Joe Girardi
c) Joe Torre
d) Tori Spelling
(19) Brian Cashman's place of employment next year most likely depends on
a) Whether or not the Yankees win the World Series
b) If the Yankees finish ahead of the Red Sox
c) What other team wants a new GM
d) How much the local WalMart is hiring at
OK time's up. Pencils down and please return your rally caps to their original upright position. What's that, you want answers? Sorry, no answers here, just more questions like
- Will the Yankees catch Boston?
- How long can Baltimore stay atop the division?
- What ever did happen to Pie Oh My? Did he really die in that stable fire or was that just another Tony Soprano insurance scam?
- Will there be a version of the Yankee Drinking Game for the Playstation Portable?
- Is there going to be a quiz to entertain us Mets fans?
For the answers to these and many more, tune in next week, same Commish time, same Commish channel… 'til next week…
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