Whole lotta trading going on this week! We've got three trades to announce, involving 5 different teams and 20 players including our third mega-player deal in as many weeks, a six-for-six between The Kevins, Shanley and Kelly. In fact Kevin Kelly made two trades this week, the other one with Doug Quat, in which Luis Castillo and Miguel Tejada found themselves switching teams. The owner formerly known as The Staten Island Sniper was so trade happy this week he cast off both Castillo and (Vinny) Castilla! Yes Trader Neil and Intentional Walt got together this week as well, a minor deal for these two with "Walt imitating life" trading Bartolo Colon, just traded in real life to the Expos, and the "other" Giambi to Trader Neil for Gary Sheffield and Bob Wickman. Neil's got closers for sale and the store's open late! Don't be afraid to stop in.

Doug Mientkiewicz and Joe Randa were traded together for the second time and for Randa, it's his third different team so far this season, all by way of the trade. Omar Daal is now once again a member of Kevin Kelly's team, and who can forget that trade a few years back when Daal became a member of the Quat Thrusts as a throw-in in a Jason Giambi for Helton package and then single-handedly kept Doug out of the money with an ERA over 20.00 for the rest of the first half! Hmm, Kevin and Doug made a deal this week, didn't they? You think they discussed Omar? I highly doubt it…

And finally, before we leave the trade talk, a message from Kevin Shanley, who is now in the business of collecting any and all Pittsburgh Pirates. If you've got a Pirate to trade him, he's got a deal for you! In fact, not only is he looking for guys like Mike Williams, Pokey Reese or Jason Kendall, he's got his sights set on Captain Hook, Long John Silver, Pegleg Pete and that guy Rex Smith who played the lead in Pirates Of Penzance on Broadway… Again, the store's open late, don't be afraid to give The Hat a call…

Moving away from trading and moving into the All Star Break, a quick reminder from your Commissioner that the due to the All Star Break (no games that count until Thursday), stats will be done next Wednesday (July 10th) instead of the usual Monday (July 8th). This should give everyone plenty of time to make their Dump Day selections as starting that Monday, and continuing through Wednesday at 8PM, you may submit to me transactions for guys that are not injured! Sure they cost a little extra ($2 versus the usual $1), and yes, you only get 15 of these "performance" transactions to use for the rest of the season. But how much is it worth to you to get those bums off your roster and replace them with a fresh set of bums from the free agent list? All moves made by 8PM on Wednesday of that week will take effect immediately, starting with the games of Thursday, July 11th.

We've all been here before so don't forget, Wednesday July 10th is Dump Day! Also don't forget to send me plenty of backup choices for your picks because we all can't get Graeme Lloyd or Mark Bellhorn with our first choice! Well at least two of us can. Man is it really that bad out there? So to recap, that's no stats next Monday, All Star Game on Tuesday, Dump Day and stats on Wednesday night, non-injury transactions are $2, plenty of backup choices, no preference given to injury moves versus non-injury dumps other than standings position. Any questions? You all know where to find me…

So Joe Torre, do you think you've got enough shortstops on the AL squad? Do you really need five? Who's going to play second base? I can see it now, with A-Rod starting that leaves Jeter, Nomar, Tejada and Vizquel sitting in the AL dugout playing a round robin game of Rock, Paper, Scissors to see which guy gets to sub for Alfonso Soriano once the 5th inning rolls around. Or as Nomar would say, "Raak, Pape-ah, Scissas". A quick karaoke clip if I may, with apologies to Smash Mouth. "Hey now, AL All Stars, got five shortstops, all play. Only trick is, one of them has, to man, second base"… And how about this 30th man fan voting! I love this! If we get enough people together do we have a shot at getting Darryl Kile on the NL pitching staff? Or at least Bartolo Colon? Better yet, I think I'm actually going to start hacking again and write a program that writes in Rey Ordonez at shortstop over and over until the balloting period ends. Why not? If Rey was in the AL, I'm sure Joe Torre would've found a spot for him!

Speaking of the Mets, does it get anymore dysfunctional than this? I'm not talking "Bret Saberhagen Super Soaker filled with bleach" dysfunctional. And I'm not even talking "Vince Coleman firecracker" crazy either. Perhaps not even "Rickey Henderson, Bobby Bonilla, Amarillo Slims Extra Inning Five Card Draw" stupid, but things are getting a little out of hand in Flushing once again. The team's barely playing .500 ball, the Braves AAA team could take the Mets right now, Roger Cedeno and Roberto Alomar are going "Kent and Bonds" on us, seldom used relief pitchers are smoking marijuana with backup outfielders and suffering seizures, the closer wants an empty locker on both sides of him and the co-owners are suing each other over the perceived value of the franchise! Do Wilpon and Doubleday really want to know what I perceive to be the value of this franchise right now? Let me give you a hint. WorldCom's worth more, Andersen's got nothing worth shredding and Martha Stewart would've sold her shares a long time ago. Bob Klapsich where are you when we need you?

And while we're talking about worthless corporate entities please tell me that the Astros didn't really rename Enron Field to Minute Maid Park? Isn't it bad enough we've already got Tropicana Field in Tampa Bay? Now we've got two fruit juicy fields? What's next? Sunny D Stadium? Or maybe The Castle At Crystal Light? When does it stop? Please Mommy, make the corporate marketing and public relations people go away! At least the ones that don't own teams in this league… That's all for now fellas, don't forget to get me all your "bad player removals" by Wednesday of next week. Anytime starting Monday is fine but the deadline is Wednesday at 8PM! Enjoy the All Star Game and be sure to keep track of all the shortstops and bad outfielders who are their team's lone representative as they come into the game! 'til next week…