Whole lot of television options on Monday night. Of course, there was no baseball on. Due to a "getaway day" schedule, only five games were on tap for Monday and only one was at night, Tigers/Angels, and I couldn't find that one on the dish anywhere. With labor talks entering a crucial week, and the union hinting more and more about a strike date, this could be an ominous sign of things to come… Well, at least there was football! The pre-season debut of Monday Night Football had the New York Giants playing the brand spankin' new Houston Texans in the Hall Of Fame Game from Canton, Ohio. And if the hometown Giants weren't a reason to watch, you know everyone was interested in seeing the debut of both the newest NFL franchise in Houston and the Monday Night Football debut of John Madden. And if you still needed a reason to tune in, how about knockout sideline reporter Melissa Stark in a sleeveless red sweater? Speaking of giant Texans, over on TNN we've got WWE Wrestling and a Hardcore Title match between the giant Texan named Bradshaw and some guy named Tommy Dreamer. Hey, Bradshaw, isn't that a football name?

Anyway back to baseball where it looks like John Rocker is back to his old tricks again. The story here is that Rocker was having brunch with his girlfriend in a restaurant that's located in a predominantly gay section of Dallas and he was being taunted by some of the restaurants patrons. Well the obvious occurred when Mr. Rocker grew tired of the taunts and exploded in yet another insensitive rant about the kinds of people who frequent the restaurant and the neighborhood. The article goes on to quote the restaurant's manager and stuff but what I can't figure out after reading the account of the incident are two things. First, what was Rocker doing there in the first place? And second, what did Mike Piazza have for brunch? Inquiring minds want to know!

Not a whole lot of trading going on at the deadline, was there? The Mets pulled the trigger on a few minor deals and then proceeded to shoot themselves, and any lingering playoff hopes, in the foot, getting swept in their next four games by the Diamondbacks. Now the only trigger pulling that's going to go on is from frustrated Mets fans with guns to their heads. Anyone got a nice Diamondbacks cap I can borrow for about two months? Hey Jim, how about that one you wore to the draft? Taking a quick look at last week's transactions, hoping to find a humorous nugget or two for this week's column I see that the minor league traded by the Rockies to the White Sox in the Sandy Alomar deal is someone named Enemencio Pacheco. Move over Angel Echevarria! This guy's name is a mouthful! Obviously the bastard child of rap star Eminem and The Fight Doctor, Ferdie Pacheco. You see, the National Enquirer does get it right sometimes! Speaking of deadline deals, only one last minute deal in our league as Doug Quat and Trader Neil hook up in a Luis Castillo for Jose Vidro swap of second basemen…

Staying inside the league it looks like Pitching (and Diaper) Change's once insurmountable lead has gone the way of the Dow and has virtually disappeared as he's holding a slim 1 ˝ point edge over the surging RDB, and just a 2 point lead over Kramerica. We've got ourselves a 3 horse race now folks with a few contenders (The Commish, Doug, Walt) hanging around 10 points back, trying to go three wide in the homestretch and make a move of their own at the top… Of course, while we're having what's shaping up to be the closest pennant race of all time in our league, the "powers that should not be" are edging perilously close to shutting down the major league game once more. Guess we'll just have to cross our fingers on this one, after all, we've got nothing to fear but Fehr himself…

Switching back over to professional wrestling for a second, I'm sitting here watching the end of WWE Raw and Chris Jericho is fighting Rob Van Dam (that's RVD, Ray, not RDB!) and I'm thinking if we could get Dennis Milewski a blonde long-haired wig and a couple of nice silk shirts we could pass him off as Chris Jericho, no? And since Jay Buhner's already retired, we do need a new look-alike for the owner of The Rats! Anybody else have any thoughts on this one… Who would you rather have on your fantasy team? Cliff Floyd, Sleepy Floyd or Uncle Floyd? Jay Payton, Walter Payton or Peyton Manning? Gabe Kapler or Gabe Kaplan? Hmm, that's a tough one! Did I ever tell you about my uncle who used to play left field for the Colorado Rockies…

A couple of more league notes to report. Barkley Rules owner Brian Boghosian has recently relocated, leaving the friendly confines of Middletown, Connecticut and moving a tad bit north, just over the border to Feeding Hills, Massachusetts. And before everyone fires up Mapquest, that's just a few miles outside of Springfield, Mass, home of the Basketball Hall Of Fame. Now if this isn't the best hometown for a franchise team name, I don't know what is! I fully expect to see The Feeding (Hills) Frenzy as Brian's team name next season, or perhaps in the upcoming football season? And a happy birthday to Intentional Walt Cherniak, who turned 48 this past week. Or was that 45? You know, Walt always seems to have a problem when people report his age, I don't know why that is? Any of you former MBLSL'ers have an opinion on this?

When did Joel Skinner, yet another medicore backup catcher, become the Indians manager? I must've missed that! The conspiracy continues… Staying on the catcher theme, how come nobody wants to freeze Darrell Porter's body? I know the freezing point of alcohol is higher than that of water but still… Sometime later this week, we present to you Barry Bonds' 600th career home run brought to you by the folks at Creatine. And here's to hoping that either the ball goes into McCovey Cove or the first guy that touches it actually catches it! And finally, Ozzie Smith, welcome to the Hall of Fame! No we're sorry, Tommy Herr is going to have to pay full price for his ticket… 'til next week…