So what in the name of Sam (or Bobby) Hill is going on in California? Seems like a bunch of people aren't happy with the way the governor, a fellow named Gray Davis, is performing, so they've decided to "recall" him. Is it really that simple? Does California state law provide for such an efficient execution of power when necessary? If it's really this easy then why haven't they recalled the Anaheim Angels yet? I mean really, who's doing a worse job, this Gray guy trying to clean up an economic mess or Mike Scioscia trying to defend the World Series championship while sitting in 3rd place in the AL West?

Now getting rid of the governor is one thing, but finding a suitable replacement is a whole other undertaking (yes, all puns intended there)! In fact, it's become quite a circus out there on the Left Coast as over 100 people have applied to run in the election to replace Mr. Davis, including a prostitute, a porn star, Gary Coleman, the comedian Gallagher and even Arnold Schwarzenegger! Now does having the Hollywood action star in the race make this a "Total Recall"? Guess we can really call Arnie "The Running Man" now can't we? And if he wins will he be a one Term-inator or will he run for re-election? If he loses will he "be baak" to run again? I know, collective groan time…

Along these same lines, I wonder if we can file suit in the state of California to "recall" baseball commissioner Bud Selig? Hey wouldn't that be great? As a matter of fact, The Commish's Office has heard rumors out of New York that this very thing may already in fact be happening! As the rumors spread, we've already begun compiling a list of prospective replacements to run in the recall election for baseball commissioner. Here are the current Top 10 candidates, in no particular order:

Top 10 Candidates to Run for Baseball Commissioner Should We Recall Bud Selig
10. Florida Marlins ace rookie pitcher Dontrelle Willis. Whatchoo talkin' bout? Hey if Gary Coleman can run for governor of California, then Willis can run for baseball commissioner. And I hear Mr. Drummond's in line to run the Questec project if Dontrelle gets elected!
9. Jose Canseco. Who cares if he's currently in jail or under house arrest? If a former body builder named Arnold can become front-runner for the governorship of California, then baseball's resident steroid freak can definitely get "juiced up" for a run at commissioner.
8. Cubs manager Dusty Baker. As Dusty himself opined, who better than a black man to "stand the heat" of an election such as this?
7. Former baseball commissioner Bart Giamatti because it would take a dead guy to put a little "life" into The Commissioner's Office.
6. Ex-Democratic presidential hopeful Al Gore, because wherever there's an election controversy you can be sure Al's there. He's also hoping to learn from past mistakes and grab the majority share of the Florida Marlins vote.
5. "Matt & The Hat" owner Kevin Shanley. Since his all pitching strategy has worked so well thus far, he's decided to "throw his hat into the ring" for the commissionership.
4. The Alcor Life Extension Foundation plans on splitting Ted Williams' DNA and having him listed on the ballot at least eight times, running under the independent Clone Party affiliation.
3. I hear that Saddam Hussein's decided to flee Iraq and run in this election also. Because he needs someplace quiet to hide where no one will look for him. So if he wins, he plans on taking up residence inside the file cabinets where they keep the names of all the players who failed drug tests but were never publicly named. Of course, that will be far away from the Ken Caminiti file!
2. High Hard One co-owner Kevin Kelly plans to get his name on the ballot as well. Mostly this is because we need a rather large, loud mouthed, opinionated right wing Republican in the field and Rush Limbaugh is busy doing football commentary on Sundays in the fall for ESPN.
… and the #1 candidate to run for baseball commissioner in a Bud Selig recall election …
1. Angels second baseman Adam Kennedy, because no election would be complete without a Kennedy! No let's just hope this one can keep his pants on and stay away from the pilot's seat (and yes, I was tempted to use the term "cockpit" there but thought better of it at the last second!)

Staying with the political scene for a second here I realize this is not baseball related but I've just got to comment on the situation in Liberia. On Monday, and I quote CNN.COM, "…after months of international and internal pressure, embattled Liberian President Charles Taylor stepped down today and flew into exile in Nigeria, after handing the reins of power to Vice President Moses Blah…". The new Liberian President is named Moses Blah? So now who takes over Moses' spot as Vice President? Simon Yada-Yada-Yada? Sorry, just couldn't let that go without commenting. And I hear that this Blah guy literally has some big shoes (or sneakers actually) to fill as Charles Taylor took his Chuck Taylors with him to Liberia… Hey, if Rush Limbaugh can do football and a watermelon-smashing comedian can run for governor, then The Commish can do international politics…

From this week's "Be Careful What You Wish For" department comes Seattle's trade of Jeff Nelson to the Yankees for Armando Benitez. You see, after the trading deadline went by without the Mariners doing anything to improve their club, Nelson went spouting off about how the team stood pat when the should've made a trade. Well guess what Jeff? They did indeed take heed of your advice and they made a trade. Only one small problem though… they traded you! And with this trade Armando Benitez now trails only Dan Miceli; 4 to 3; for most teams played for in 2003. By the way, I'm still trying to decide what's more torturous, being a starting pitcher watching from the bench as Benitez attempts to close out your win or being a paying moviegoer forced to sit through the entire Ben & J-Lo farce, "Gigli"?

Speaking of things that suck and have no right being forced on the public, Raul Mondesi, obviously still bitter over his recent trade from New York to Arizona, feels the Yankees discriminated against him because he's from the Dominican Republic. Mondesi said Torre showed him little respect in the two seasons he played with the Yankees. "They don't like me the way they like (Derek) Jeter and Jorge (Posada) because they come from there,'' Mondesi said. "I understand that, but when you play for somebody, he's supposed to treat everybody the same.'' In other comments that were not made available to the press until later, Raul also went on to say that he'd like to thank Brian Legere for coming to his senses and not trading him at the deadline. "That Brian guy, he treats everyone the same, doesn't matter whether you're Dominican, Honduran, Cuban or just another guy from the plains of Kansas, he tries to trade everyone, then gets cold feet and backs out a deal at the last second regardless of where you're from!"

On Tuesday the Daily News reported that the New York Mets have halted contract negotiations with first-round draft pick Lastings Milledge while they investigate allegations that he had sexual contact with girls as young as 12 when he was in high school. In a related story on Wednesday the New York Post printed that there are unconfirmed rumors that instead of Milledge the Mets were looking to sign Luis Polonia…

Finally, this week's "Man Who Can Pun Worse Than The Commish" award goes to Thrusts! owner Doug Quat who when asked why he had Brett Tomko and Garret Stephenson on his pickup list instead of a more promising rookie St. Louis pitching staff member, Doug noted, "You mean Danny "Procol" Haren? A redder shade of Cardinal..." Which of course left me a whiter shade of pale… And on that note, I'm out of here! Got to overnight my election eligibility form to Sacramento before it's too late! Anyone want to bet a dollar I get more votes than Coleman and Gallagher combined?

Quick Full Monty update and we'll call it a night… Well we've got about two months left in the season and Freddie Armstrong's still got the yellow jersey, widening his lead to 7 points this past week. Speaking of jerseys, it's looking like a "Mo" for Mr. Kelly at next year's draft. In other side-bet news, Kevin Millar's home run pace is looking like it's gonna get Walt a free lunch and for those of you who might have missed it in your in-box, it's that time of year again! Yes, as he does every baseball season at this time, with football pre-season beginning and his team not in contention for the top spot, Brian Legere has bid a fond adieu to the baseball season and promises no more trade spam this year! Unless of course, someone within three places in the standings of him is interested in making him an "offer he CAN refuse"… 'til next week…

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