So who finally let the dogs out? As of press time, the Mets have won two in a row! Of course, they dropped something like twelve straight before that, at least I think it was twelve, I stopped counting at eight and it seemed like almost another week before they finally won again. Definitely tough times for us Mets fans! In fact, a strike is looking pretty good right about now as far as we're concerned…

As a matter of fact, Mets fans' agony notwithstanding, a baseball strike does in fact look rather imminent. If there's no agreement reached by this coming Friday, we're going to Strikesville! Not much compromising going on these days between the union and the owners who are still miles apart on lots of issues, not just revenue sharing and luxury taxes. Here's a Top 10 (and how long has it been since I've done one of these?), detailing all the disagreements standing in the way of a labor accord.

Top 10 Issues Standing In The Way Of A New Baseball Labor Deal

10. What's the greatest song of all time? Stairway to Heaven or Hey Jude?
9. The two sides just can't agree on exactly how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
8. Paper or plastic?
7. The owners claim that the union got their chocolate in the owners' peanut butter, the players say the owners got their peanut butter in the union's chocolate.
6. Who invaded Spain in the 8th century? That's a joke. The Moors. Oh, Noooo, I'm so sorry. It's the MOOPS. The correct answer is, The MOOPS.
5. Ginger or Maryann?
4. Donald Fehr: "The chicken came first." Rob Manfred: "No Don, it was definitely the egg."
3. While they tend to agree on how much wood a woodchuck could chuck, it's trying to find ways to divide up all the wood that the woodchuck chucked that's become a problem.
2. What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object? Oh wait, that's what got us here in the first place…
… and the #1 issue standing in the way of a new baseball labor deal …
1. Players: "Tastes great!" Owners: "Less filling!"

And we laugh now. Let's see who's laughing come next Saturday morning, August 31st… And speaking of, next week it's supposed to be roster expansion time in The Full Monty Fantasy Baseball League. So should they still be playing baseball on Saturday, and continue playing through Monday, it'll be business as usual in The Commish's Office. Send me your prioritized list of free agent pickups by Monday, remember it's 5 more players, any position, just five dollars! On Monday night, September 2nd, I'll assign all the claims and we'll play out the season. We've been doing this for a number of seaons now so hopefully you're all familiar with the process, but if anyone has any questions about roster expansion, you know where to find me!

Should The Strike become a reality, I'll hold all the lists and once the game restarts (assuming it's still the 2002 season) we'll do the roster expansion then, allowing everyone to re-submit their lists again (or for the first time) if they'd like, crossing off all player reps and anyone who may have gotten hurt during the strike…

Finally, Hall of Fame reliever Hoyt Wilhelm has died at the age of 80. Wilhelm was well known for his knuckleball and once held the record for career pitching appearances at 1,070. a record has since been passed by Jesse Orosco, whom I thought died years ago! Anyway, Hoyt's body was immediately flown to the Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Arizona where he will be frozen so that sometime in the distant future, he can be thawed out so he can throw batting practice for Ted Williams.

And on that note, I leave you for this week. I promise to return next Monday night, strike or no strike. At that time, we'll know what our options are. If they're still playing baseball on Saturday, feel free to send me your expansion pick-up list. If they're not playing baseball on Saturday, feel free to send me your comments and I promise I'll publish a group rant next column if need be. 'til next week…

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