So with only three weeks left to go in the season, we've finally got ourselves a good old fashioned AL East pennant race! Just 2 ˝ games or so separate the Yankees and the Red Sox and if these past two weekends are any indication, I think we're going to have to keep the gag on the Fat Lady for some time. So in honor of this great rivalry, let's begin this week's column by dusting off The Commish's Office karaoke machine, dropping a dime in the jukebox and singing that old classic "Puttin' On The Ritz", only this time, instead of singing about Rockefellers and Gary Cooper we'll be crooning about a certain Red Sox superstar and his unwillingness to play hurt in a big spot, yet still being able to find some time to fraternize with the enemy at a local watering hole. And a-one, and a-two…

Out by two, a few to go
Playing the Yanks, big games, but Manny sits, while he's
Hangin' at The Ritz

Just why doesn't Manny play?
He doesn't say, can't talk, pharangytis. But he's
Hangin' at The Ritz

For 20 mil you'd think he'd be a trooper
Play or else just stay inside his room, uh? Super duper?
So what if he didn't play, he
Still met Enrique, (not Willie), for some drinks
Hangin' at The Ritz

So we see Manny Well-to-Do
Struttin' down Comm Avenue
On that famous thoroughfare
Play big games? He doesn't care.
Won't bother him, if Theo hollers
He still gets paid his million dollars
Is he worth a dime?
If he pulls this everytime?

For much less than Ramirez
Just give Sox fans, the Met's man, Jeromy Burnitz, he's never
Hangin' at The Ritz

So next time you, wake up late
Don't want to work? Just pull a Manny; call in sick.
Hangin' at the Ritz

And then just this past weekend, the Sox and Yanks meet again with Manny Ramirez in the lineup after all and Boston takes two of three behind some serious offense. Now of course, all this doesn't sit well with the Yankees owner as George Steinbrenner takes to the back page of the tabloids, threatening to fire all his coaches, take everyone's first born child and bring The Plague down upon all the houses of Egypt unless, and I paraphrase, "Joe Torre finds a way to win the whole thing, then what could I do"? Er, George, I didn't know they were serving brunch at this press conference? Perhaps you want a little syrup with that "waffle"?…

Now I'm sure that you Yankee fans are not worried as it seems that the Curse of the Bambino has yet to kick in (despite Manny Ramirez' best efforts) and sure enough, the ghosts will rise and all will be well in the South Bronx. However, perhaps this recent spat of losing games to the Red Sox is actually a result of a newer, more powerful curse? I'm talking about The Curse of The Boss, and I don't mean Steinbrenner either! I'll allow Quat Thrusts! owner and Yankee fan Doug Quat to explain:

"By the way, I attribute the Yankee losses Fri. and Sat. to The Boss... not Steinbrenner, but Springsteen. Follow this - New Jersey native and big Yankee fan Bruce throws the cosmos out of whack by playing the first concerts ever held in Fenway Park the same weekend the hated Sox are playing the Yankees at The Stadium. Hey, I love The Boss (Bruce, not George), but his timing could have been a little better. You don't mess around with history."

What do you think? Is Dougie Thrust on to something here? I'll go a step further and say this whole thing started just before the big Yankee series' when the Red Sox won that inter-league makeup game in Philadelphia at Veteran's Stadium, yet another stop on Bruce Springsteen's current tour. If I may sing something for you to the tune of Bruce's "Atlantic City" perhaps that might explain things better…

Now they blew up the Chicken Man in Philly last night,
Blew up the bullpen too.
Out on the Boardwalk they're getting ready for a fight,
Gonna see what those Yankee boys can do.
Now the Sox are busting in to New York state
and the Yankees can't get no relief (pitching).
Red Sox fans seated up in the Promenade
And Georgie's boys are hanging on by the skin of their teeth
Everything dies, baby that's a fact
And this may be the year, The Curse does not come back
So put your eye black on, get your uniform dirty
And beat the Yankees tonight down in New York City

Now, I know I promised to talk (sing) about the September Roster Expansion, but it's getting late and all I could come up with was a lame chorus from a Neil Diamond song parody:

September Morn,
Expanding rosters, five more guys, on the first Monday
Adding players to our team, who really cannot play
Making our great commissioner work hard all Labor Day

September Morn,
Two backup catchers and three pitchers with high ERAs
And for this fun only five more dollars do we pay?
September roster expansion, should it go away?

And on that note (however off key it may have been!) I'm outta here for another week. Good luck to all the teams that are still in contention down the stretch run. And that goes for the five teams still fighting for first, the five still trying to get into the last money spot and the three owners still spending their last hard earned dollar to stay out of last place! So remember, if you expanded the rosters last week, all moves from here on in are free so why not roll the dice! 'til next week…

Click here to read previous "News and Notes" installments...