So as Hurricane Isabel bears down on the East Coast, five teams bear down on the Full Monty Fantasy League title! With the days (and these columns) growing shorter as the end of the season approaches, let's take a look at the five teams left in contention and try to figure out which of them will be holding the Full Monty Trophy when the season ends in approximately 2 and a half weeks from now. Don't worry, I'm not going to sing this week! Just a little running commentary on each of the contenders and pretenders. Holy Chrissie Hynde Batman! Did I say "Pretenders"? Got brass… In pocket… Gonna make you, make you, make you notice…

High Hard One - The Commish and Kevin Kelly are our current leaders, spending their very first week in the top spot. But has HHO peaked too soon? With Kevin Kelly shooting his mouth off like old WWF manager Jimmy Hart (let's just call Kev the new Mouth of the South, south Jersey that is…), is he jinxing the team's chances? This team's loaded for bear going into the stretch run, well that is if your trying to "save" a bear. With something like 92 closers on the team (OK, maybe 7 if you count Sasaki), they got their sites set on the Saves category as their X Factor. Will it work? Tune in next week, same Commish time, same Commish channel…

The Fred Sox - After spending much of the 2nd half of the season in first, the Sox have been spotted in all three of the top spots these past few weeks. Now Fred Laberge is as much a rookie as Hideki Matsui is, but I think he's still the "sexy" pick to win it all. Or perhaps I should say that "Right Said Fred" is simply "too sexy for his shirt, too sexy for his shirt, that's why he'll win first"… Now don't worry, The Commish hasn't gone all Queer Eye For The French Guy, he's just saying that having a rookie/first time winner (and a team named after the Red Sox to boot!) would do this league some good. Of course, not if it comes at the expense of adding a title to his own resume though…

Matt & The Hat - The All-Pitching strategy has been validated, whether or not Kevin Shanley (The Hat) and Matty Parzero (Matt &) find a way to come back and win what they once dominated. This team has been the "calm in the storm", not having moved more than a point or two in either direction after settling into the mid "one-teens" about halfway through the season and holding on to almost 90% of the possible maximum pitching points. If they want to make the necessary move back to the top though, it won't be by getting that last 10%, M&TH is going to have to go the hitting route and add five guys possessed by the ghost of Ralph Kiner (The Hat's a big Pirates fan) next week if they want to move up the power categories where they are currently sit at or near the bottom. But no matter what happens, rest assured that thanks to The Hat's astute wagering, we're all looking forward to a little Mo Kelly at next year's draft…

Vandalay Industries - Team Latex may have topped out too early, and a hitting slump has rocked them from the top spot, all the way back to 4th place. But there's still plenty of time and nobody does the free agent pickup like Vandalay! The "spit and duct tape" repairs that the Brothers Caruso have done to cover their hoards of injuries have been nothing short of fantastic. Now if they can just resist the temptation to keep adding everybody the Mets run out to their middle infield positions, they might still have a shot at winning the whole Velandia. They've also got one other thing going for them. While winning saves may be HHO's X-Factor, it's the exact opposite for Vandalay as they attempt to become the 2nd straight franchise to ride the "anti-save" (punting the saves category) to a title, a la Ray Boyce's RDB squad in 2002…

Intentional Walts - Does the Intentional One have enough upward mobility to leap over four teams and into first place in just two and a half weeks worth of stats? A quick check of the rankings says yes he does, but he'll need a little help to get there. Besides, isn't it about time that Randy Johnson starts paying dividends on the number-three overall pick? If I was to give Walt some advice here on what he could do to win, I might suggest praying heavily, I might suggest some solid baseball research, or I might suggest trying to bribe yours truly with loads of cash in unmarked yellow envelopes and with non-consecutive serial numbers (plus a little kicker for Kevni too so he can buy his own Mo jersey instead of having to borrow and put stretch marks in mine). However, those of you that know me best, know there's only one way to do what you need to do and that's voodoo! Oh mighty Intentional One, I'll send you digital pictures of all of your competition right away so you can start your own "league owner remote acupuncture sessions" right away!

And one more thing to consider here before I leave you for another week. If either The Commish/Kevin, Walt or Fred win the league, it'll be the first time that a team with a top five draft pick has taken it all. And no matter who wins, it's the first time in league history that both 1-800-RATS (Dennis) and the Thrusts! (Dougie Q) have both finished out of the money (and don't our collective hearts bleed?). Best of luck to everyone these last few weeks and a special thanks to everyone else who's hung in there with us this long! 'til next week…