Well Ray, I guess sitting in all that traffic on Draft Day was worth it after all, wasn't it? Congratulations to Ray Boyce who grabs the 2002 Full Monty Fantasy Baseball League title! For Ray, it's his first league title and after a few seasons of knocking on the door, Ray has finally proven that there's no one better this season than R… D… B…! On the heels of his first title come the rumors that Ray's wife Marianne will now have her husband cryogenically frozen so that he can be thawed out in the year 2342, get stuck in traffic on the Long Island Expressway (and no they won't have that figured out by then, technology can only do so much!), be about 3 hours late for the draft, which will be hosted by John Legere VIII ("I am, I am") but will be in the same hotel room it's always in, and then arrive just in time to nab Ted Williams with the 13th selection of the 5th round. Once again, congratulations to Ray Boyce and RDB on their league championship!

Finishing the season in 2nd place with a late surge are The Intentional Walts, whose owner, The Intentional One, Walt Cherniak, will most definitely not be cryogenically frozen! After all, if we thawed Walt out for the league in 2342, he'd most definitely draft a team of guys who he'd never heard of, and then proceed to trade all of them anyway! Besides that, can you imagine the post-thaw depression that would set in once Walt learned that his beloved Red Sox STILL hadn't won a World Series? And that the Yankees had the rights to Ted Williams after buying his body from John Henry Williams way back in 2059. Heartache I tell you, nothing but heartache. Almost like finishing in second place in this league…

We've got a tie for third place this season! Double-show if you will… The leader most of the season before slipping late, Brian Legere's Pitching (and Diaper) Change holds on for dear life, narrowly avoiding a fall into fourth place as they tie Guy Caruso's Vandalay Industries for third. Guy also wins the Seinfeld Award by finishing three spots ahead of Don Cardoza and Mike Dolce's Kramerica, who also went into a freefall after trading Albert Pujols late in the season, (although Don, I don't think Pujols was the entire reason for the decline!). For Kramerica, they settle for a sixth place finish.

Sitting between the two Seinfeldian franchises are The Quat Thrusts! No the exclamation point is part of their name, not an expression of excitement for Doug Quat's fifth place finish! Although there is some joy in Quatville as the Thrusts do manage to come in ahead of long time rival Dennis Milewski's 1-800-RATS squad, who round out the "money spots" in seventh…

For the rest of us not named in the above paragraphs, well we're just losers… Or as Beck once sang "I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me". Well maybe not that harsh, but it was quite a long fruitless season, wasn't it? Oh and that was Beck as in the pop/rock singer, not Beck as in Rod the former Cubs closer… Now for the category winners! The winners of the "finsters" for leading the league in a statistical category are… RDB (Homers, RBIs, Runs and Wins), The Quat Thrusts! (ERA and Ratio), The Intentional Walts (Batting Average), Kramerica (Stolen Bases), Cancer Boy Still Chuggin' (Saves), Pitching (and Diaper) Change (Strikeouts), Jennifer Aniston (Best Actress in a Comedy or Drama Series) and Ray Romano (Best Actor in a Comedy or Drama Series). After all, Everybody Loves Raymond, Boyce that is…

Now of course, we get to the part of the column in which we reveal that some of the owners actually owe the league money for being allowed to have all this fun for the past 26 weeks! I'll be getting around to sending out an e-mail to each of you detailing your current league balance and outlining the various payment options available to you through The Commish's Office Financing Plan. For the budding CPA's among you, you can figure out what you owe by following these simple steps.