Well folks, it certainly looks like this one is over, even by Yogi's standards! The bus has been started up and the fat lady is singing some kind of Aria in Italian which loosely translates into "Walt Must Die". But before we go anywhere near there, let me just state up front that since this is the last column of the season, and my team is no longer in playoff contention, that I'm probably not going to play all of my starters. I hope A-Rod and Steinbrenner are OK with this…

Now please join me in congratulating Walt on his first fantasy baseball title in 86 years! Gee, the Sox in 2004 and the Intentional Walts in 2005! Will miracles never cease? Actually this really isn't Walt's first title, he did have a half-share tie back in the days of The Monty Burns Liver Spots League and come to think of it, if it wasn't for Candy Maldonado this might actually be his 2nd title. Or am I remembering that incorrectly? Anyways, Walt, damn nice job this season! To the victor goes the Diaz, er I mean spoils. Just don't get too spoiled, OK? Later on down the page, we'll hear Walt explain his strategy for winning it all this season, then we'll have a group session on how we prevent this from happening again! Remember that was three straight number one pitchers, then Carlos Lee, then Derek Lee, THEN Andruw Jones in the seventh freakin' round! How did we let this happen? Or if I may quote Jedi Master Yoda "sneaky much that Walt is". OBI-WALT KENOBI: "These are not the droids you're looking for." US: "These are not the batters we were thinking about drafting."…

OK, before we get into the rest of the good stuff we've got some "business" to take care of so let's just get that out of the way first. As most of you have seen by now the list is out on who owes the league money and who's actually getting a little extra gas money in their pockets this autumn. So with that being said, if you haven't already done so, click on the link below and doing your best Jerry Maguire, "show me the money!" If anyone has any questions on my math, please let me know, I'll be happy to provide the details. Keep in mind that two teams tied for a spot in the standings will split the money available at both of those pay spots.

Click Here To View Outstanding Owner Balances

I can't pay the winners until I get paid by the losers. Or if I have to be more "PC" than losers, we'll call them the "victoriously challenged". Anyone needing "flexible payment options" please call The Commish's Office, choose 1, 4 then 2 and the pound sign when prompted, and ask to speak with Nunzio in Collections, he'll be able to make you an offer you can't refuse. So make sure the kids are fed, the mortgage is paid and there's a full tank of gas in the car then send me whatever you've got left. On second thought, better make that just half a tank and drive slower… If Walt's wife comes a-callin' for the cash, I will provide her a list of e-mail addresses and cell phone numbers of those who are delinquent and will also let her know that these are the same folks who keep Walt up nights and on weekends discussing baseball matters. So get that check in the mail, don't say I didn't warn you…

With that unpleasant begging for money out of the way, we can move on to the good stuff. Sorry, there will be no last session singing this season like we did with last year's American Pie/The Curse Is Broken song parody. For you see, the karaoke machine's in the shop for repairs after the fat lady fell on it when trying to belt out Der Kommisar in my honor during "Back To The 80's" night last Tuesday. As if the fall didn't cause enough damage to the machine itself, one of the horns from the viking helmet ripped the subwoofer apart too!

Now I realize that I've already gone on record with a playoff prediction of another Red Sox World Series championship but then I realized what the heck was I thinking? It's not being down 0 - 2 to the White Sox that's got me looking for a change, because we all know being one game from elimination with no wins is really not an obstacle, been there, done that! The original ending just needed a tweak is all… So how does this scenario sound instead? Red Sox and Astros still meeting in the Series, only this time it's 3 games to 2 Sox heading into Game 6 at Fenway. Pettitte, who absolutely owns the Sox in Boston, out duels Wells in Game 6 to tie the series. Then in an 11 inning Game 7, Jeff Bagwell (remember him!) gets the game winner off The Monster and Roger Clemens gets the win pitching in relief at his old stomping grounds! My apologies to Red Sox Nation for that (because I'm sure losing 14 - 2 to the other Sox in Game 1 and Graffanino going all Buckner in Game 2 wasn't enough for you to stomach), it just seemed like the right thing to do. I will now collect an additional five dollars from each of the Yankee fans as I was promised for revising my prediction…

The final results in the Owner of the Year voting are in. And the winner is…. Michael Jackson "Thriller"! Oh wait, wrong awards show… OK, the votes are in and the ballots have been counted by the international (and need I say impartial) accounting firm of Dewey, Cheatem and Howe (no relation to Art or Steve) and the winner is…. Walt Cherniak! (loud music, balloons falling from ceiling, skinny blonde Swedish girl in tight dress coming over to present award). Walt wins with 4 votes from his peers, followed by a two-way tie for second between Alex Lerman and The Commish/Kevin duo (OK, so technically that's a three-way tie). Ray Boyce gets one vote (and thanks his Mom for that) and Dennis, despite his fine 2nd place finish, did not get a single vote!? Er, Dennis, you knew you could vote for yourself, right?

While we're handing out the hardware, our First Annual Mark Robinson Award, named after our quickly recovering colleague, and given to the team with the worst crash in the 2nd half (Come on! You know Mark would laugh at this!), goes to rookie owner Marc D'Allesandro, whose We Slept With Anna Benson team experienced a painful 27 ½ point drop in the standings since the All Star Break, falling from a high of 3rd place all the way down to double digit 11th. That's OK Marc at least you won something! We won't tell Anna! The rest of the guys get stuck with the "parting gifts"…

Now, as hinted at earlier, let's take a few paragraphs to go over exactly how our Top Three teams did the things they did this season as our successful owners share their "secrets". Hey, don't knock this! You telling me you wouldn't pay $9.99 for this stuff on Rotoworld.com? And you don't even know those guys personally… We'll begin as Walt tells you in his own words, what it took to become Top Dog in The Full Monty.

WALT

Now that the season is over, it's time for most owners to ponder what went wrong, and for one owner (c'est moi!) to reflect on what went right. And since I'm fully aware that this was a once-in-a-lifetime, virtual wire-to-wire runaway that probably will never happen again, I have no problem sharing "state secrets" that show how it was done.

Plus, this isn't exactly rocket science. Clemens was on Dennis' team. The short version is this. I had a good strategy, I executed it in a disciplined manner, and it worked like a charm. I will probably never be able to say all three of those things again. There was luck involved of course, particularly with my offense. But there was some skill and strategy involved too.

The most surprising part of the season to me is how well my offense did. That's because my draft day strategy was focused COMPLETELY on pitching. I had a few basic principles I stuck to rigidly.

1. I was going to take high-strikeout starters with my first three picks. I had Santana, Peavy and Beckett targeted for my first three choices before the draft started, and I was fairly confident they'd be there.

2. I was planning all along to go with four starters, so I had to take guys with high strikeout totals who played for contending teams (needed the wins).
3. I was going to wait to take my closer, and even then was going with only one. That left four spots for setup guys, which I knew I could fill late in the draft.
4. Besides high K totals and a winning team, I had a general rule: No starts from mediocre starting pitchers. (I almost made it through the whole year: One start from Scott Olsen and two from Francisco Liriano).

My pitching is the least fluky part of my season. When you look at their numbers, Santana, Peavy and Beckett all pitched about as well as everyone thought they would. I did get a little lucky with Carpenter at No. 9, I admit.

I made only two trades, both in the same week in July. One turned out terribly for me, and the other turned out great. In both cases, it was due to injuries. I traded Carlos Lee and Ryan Wagner for Jacque Jones and Roy Halladay. Then, I turned around and traded Jones and Troy Percival for Juan Pierre and El Duque. I had 133 points when I made the deals, and I finished with 139 1/2. It could have been more. When I dealt for Halladay, Beckett was on the DL with blister problems, and I was going to be forced to abandon my "no mediocre starters" pledge. But I got only 27 innings out of him. If he didn't get hurt, I would have won K's going away, and would have had a couple of extra points in wins, too.

You may know that I'm a huge believer in strikeout rates. With one exception (Jesse Crain), I used that to drive all of my pitching decisions. My team finished a close second in K's while finishing 13th in the league in innings pitched. My team averaged 8.5 K's per 9 innings and had a K-to-BB ratio of more than 3 to 1. And, to offset not having a fifth starter, I looked for relievers on good teams who might vulture a few wins. And vulture they did -- 8 wins for Scott Linebrink, 7 for Cliff Pollitte, 4 each for Jesse Crain and Tom Gordon. I had 32 relief wins.

I'll admit to getting lucky with my hitters, particularly Derrek Lee and Andruw Jones, who had career years. Since I didn't take a hitter until the fourth round, I didn't have the luxury of drafting for position need. I literally took the best roto hitters available, and my first five offensive players were 1B/OF. But that's where I won the league -- Carlos Lee at No. 4, who I eventually turned into Juan Pierre. Derrek Lee at No. 5, Andruw Jones at No. 7, Brian Giles at No. 8. Lee and Jones had monster years, obviously. But I tried to build offensive depth, and wound up with a lot of good, unspectacular guys, who gave me multiple-category value:

Giles: .301-15-83, 92 runs, 13 SB

Crisp: .299-13-62, 82 runs, 15 SB
Holliday: .307-18-85, 66 runs, 13 SB

I got VERY lucky with Cantu and Barmes, but I took them very late, and that's when you take chances. The only offensive pick I regret was Jack Wilson. And Juan Cruz and Ryan Wagner didn't work out very well as high-K relievers. OK, I've bored you enough. But I'll never get a chance to gloat like this again. Remember, the 1985 Tigers won 84 games and finished third…

DENNIS

Dennis, a perennial in-the-money finisher, took the silver medal this season using a markedly simpler strategy than Walt's. In fact, it can be broken down into a two-step formula that anyone can easily follow.

1. Draft your team

2. Leave it alone

Actually there are two more items that should be added to this list as well.

3. If you must tinker, only do it with Yankees whom you know and trust.

4. Lay off the Japanese pitchers, all that MSG can lead to headaches

THE COMMISH & KEVIN

Now for The Commish & Kevin, whatever strategy they had on Draft Day (draft old guys? Only guys with AARP cards? Injury prone is good?) went right out the window when they found themselves in last place on May 1st with something like 39 points to their name. Something needed to be done quickly and it was. Here were the trades and moves that shaped the new and improved Coolata:

Four key trades were made in a two week period after we realized the ship was sinking and something drastic had to be done. We had few tradable commodities (Smoltz, Oswalt, Helton and a lot of closers). We targeted 5 guys to acquire, wound up getting four of them.

(1) Jeff Kent and Giovanni Carrara for Trevor Hoffman and Cristian Guzman

(2) Alex Rodriguez, Jeff Weaver and Brian Lawrence for Dmitri Young, Roy Oswalt and Kip Wells
(3) Ichiro, Eric Hinske and Brian Jordan for Ken Griffey, Todd Helton and Brad Hawpe
(4) Manny Ramirez, Noah Lowry and a then injured Kerry Wood for Sammy Sosa, John Smoltz and an injured Brandon Lyon

The key to these trades was being open to taking other team's "garbage" (Carrara, Jordan, et al) to get a deal done, plus (and we did not know this at the time) getting back decent starters in return like Weaver, Lawrence and Lowry.

Other trades that were not so hot or allowed us to get rid of all the dead wood we drafted:

(5) Marquis Grissom and Jason Giambi for Bernie Williams and Rafael Palmeiro (we should've held onto Giambi longer in this one!)

(6) Aaron Hill in the infamous 5 way deal for Mike Lowell
(7) Mark Grudzielanek and Julian Tavarez for Miguel Batista and Robinson Cano

Plus timely free agent pickups like:

Tyler Walker, Chien-Ming Wang, Jay Payton, Jorge Sosa, Duaner Sanchez and Ryan Howard

The Walker and Sanchez pickups especially helped us tread water in the saves category after we traded away all our closers to get the Big Bats.

Just 5 guys who remained from Draft Day and contributed all season:

Joe Mauer, Matt Lecroy, Edgar Renteria, Cliff Floyd, David Wells, Scott Kazmir

and we missed with these pickups:

Jason Ellison, Jody Gerut, Mike Maroth, Gil Meche, Al Leiter

I must admit we did drop Jeff Francouer too early! But in our defense he had only 13 ABs in two weeks after the All Star Break when we had picked him up.

Please duly note that an even bigger key to success here is that you have to swallow some pride (as if teaming up with Kevin isn't enough!) and admit early on that your team sucks while there's still enough time to do something about it. This strategy has been tried and met with success before, just never as well as last-to-third place. Besides us, Ray (also this season), Brian Boghosian and Guy Caruso (in prior years) have all gone worst-to-money after being in last as late as the All Star Break so it can be done! No reason to stop trying…

BRUCE(?)

I know I said we'd hear from the Top 3 owners but here's a bonus tip from our 4th place finisher Cuzzin' Brucie Lerman. Who tells that fantasy baseball success is as easy as letting your young son take over the reins of the team, then riding his coattails into the money! Jimmy Kalach, are you listening here? Heck, I hear that Alex was a finalist for the Texas Rangers GM job before the team decided to go "older" with that 28 year old Daniels guy.

So in closing thank you, thank you, thank you all for yet another exciting and successful season! I say this every year, but it still holds true season in and season out, if it wasn't for the cooperation and patience I get from all of you, this league would not run as smoothly as it does. You hear so many horror stories from friends about the leagues they're in and all the cutthroat shenanigans that ensue. Well, that kind of stuff just doesn't seem to happen here in The Full Monty. Why? Well after spending some time pondering this conundrum I think I know why. Nobody in this league is a lawyer! But seriously, thanks again for allowing me to be the custodian of this league, it's a pleasure and I enjoy every minute of it. Even if those minutes get less and less each season and we lose a News & Notes here and there along the way…

OK, looks like we're done here! Let's call it a season, shall we? Dim the house lights, round up the livestock, pack up the truck and let's go home folks! Final paychecks will be in the mail on Friday. And for crissakes will somebody tell the fat lady to shut the heck up already! 'til next season…

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