Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends, er, better make that the e-mail thread that never ends! Yes folks, it's fantasy football time once again! The 12th season of the All My Rowdy Friends Fantasy Football League kicked off on Saturday, August 24th with a rousing Draft Day, hosted by Kevin Kelly at his new palatial estate in Manalapan, New Jersey. My god, have we really been doing this for 12 years now? Can you say "get a life"? Anyway, thanks go out to Kevin's wife Anna, for allowing us all to invade her living room just mere days after she delivered the Kellys' first child. Thanks also go out to Baby Melissa for not being old enough to remember any of the profanities that she heard spewed throughout the day. Then again, she's got Kevin as a father, so perhaps it's only just a matter of time…

And one more set of thanks goes on to rookie owner and new Rowdy Friends Tech Support Manager Joe Caruso and his laptop computer for saving us from the "technical difficulties" that delayed the start of the draft by half an hour. Which when you think about it wasn't so bad after all, since some owners, who shall remain nameless but can you finish this sentence; Sleepless In {blank), were well more than a half an hour late, missing the entire draft as a matter of fact! More on that later…

Moving on to the Draft highlights, I don't think it's a mystery as to what the #1 draft highlight was. In fact, let's just say it was quite a "shocker" as the Brothers Malure took New York Giants rookie phenom tight end Jeremy Shockey with their 3rd round pick, the 36th overall! When asked about this, co-owner Bobby Malure simply replied, "He's the best! We had to have him!". And they say O'Doul's is a non-alcoholic beverage?…

Other draft highlights included the rare appearances of new Daddy Mike Flinn (daughter Elizabeth was born about a week before the draft) and soon-to-be first time Mom and Dad, Ken and Pam Bamrick. In fact, Pam's due right around Super Bowl Sunday! There is however, no truth to the rumor that if the Jets are in the Big Game, then Ken plans to name the kid Keyshawn, as in "hurry up honey, the game's about to start, just deliver the damn baby!" Well, it certainly looks like this franchise feud's going to last at least one more generation.

This year's draft also featured Kevin Kelly's first three picks consisting of players who, like his daughter Melissa Kelly, have "two first names" (Shaun Alexander, Anthony Thomas and Issac Bruce). We also had our first ever Cleveland Browns run (Tim Couch at #64, followed by Kevin Johnson at #65), and an overall #1 pick (Marshall Faulk) that actually went as expected, despite Brian Legere's dire mock draft predictions. Four Smiths, three Johnsons, two Alexanders, Stewarts and Gramaticas, a couple of Jones', one Randle-El and three and a half hours later, the Draft was finally over, much to the chagrin of Draft Host Kevin who now had to return to the wonderful new world of diaper changing after we all left his home.

Now, without further ado, here are the 14 franchises gunning for this season's title and the Week One results as the All My Rowdy Friends Fantasy Football League kicked off the 2002 season…

Our first contender is Brian Legere, our Draft Day chat room moderator who brings back his wife Sarah as his co-owner. No more baby references in the team name this season, Brian and Sarah have tapped out at two kids. This season, they're looking for a little more offense, the Wet Toast Offense to be precise. With Marshall Faulk "falling" all the way to the #1 pick, wide outs Tim Brown (hey Sarah finally has a Raider!) and Rod Smith on the roster and the Temptation of Janikowski in the third round resisted this season, the Wet Toast Offense should be cooking by mid season.

Next up is our old friend Rob Hanratty, chat room handle Ron Jeremy. Rob nailed Kurt Warner with the 2nd overall pick of the draft, quite a far cry from a few seasons ago when he got Warner as Mr. Irrelevant, the very last pick of the draft. Add in Deuce McAllister (and an extra special thank you from The Commish for stealing his main Saints player!), two wideouts from Tennesee (Derrick Mason and Kevin Dyson), and Rob's ribald sense of humor and you've got Douche's Wild!

Yeah baby! It's The Commish and co-Rookie of The Year winner Mark Machiedo back again with Austin Powers in Golden Domer. Now I don't know if Austin's ever been to South Bend but I definitely know that the sight of Notre Dame at 2 - 0 two weeks into the college season definitely makes Mark horny! With three Saints on the roster (Brooks, Horn and ex-Fighting Irish kicker John Carney), here's to hoping that Dr. Evil doesn't visit the Superdome this season.

Come on up for The Rising! Yep, the Malure Brothers are back as Mike and Bobby field their annual team named after a Bruce Springsteen song. Now don't be mistaken, these aren't the old Binder Boyz anymore! Pared down to just a two man squad this season, the Boyz promise to "shockey" the rest of the league and end their long drought of finishing out of the money. On offense, 49ers QB Jeff Garcia joins a host of Giants and the kicking tandem of David Akers (Mike's favorite) and Olindo Mare (Bobby's main kicking man). So win or lose, meet these guys at Mary's place, they're gonna have a party!

The defending champs, Neil Eskow's record shattering Bubba's Brew Crew squad, drew the number five post position for this season's draft. Now Neil's definitely no rookie but the Brew Crew offense is looking a little "green" as Trent lines up at QB and Ahman mans the backfield. Add in Michael Vick (Tucker's choice at QB I believe) and Bills running back Travis Henry (hey Neil's finally got a Buffalo Bill to root for who's not named Riemersma!) and The Crew is looking to become the first team in league history to win back-to-back titles.

Drafting number six, it's our Draft Host Kevin Kelly, and for Peete's sake Sniper, can't you find a decent quarterback to complement Kordell Stewart? Since he's now a proud father, Kevin's temporarily abandoned his traditional "major injury" team name and borrowed a page from Brian Legere's team naming book, dubbing his team Cut The Cord this season. And speaking of cut, the former (and only) Stone Cold Steve Austin XFL Fantasy Football League champion can't be too happy that the Eagles cut Rod Smart just prior to the season opener. He Cut Me could've been a nice addition to the Cord backfield later in the season. Heck, he's got to be better than Rodney Peete!

Now we move over to our mob man, Fabrizio Sparacino who nabbed the oft injured Fred Taylor to be the top RB for The Last Touch Don (and will Fab ever run out of mafia movies to spoof?) Now Taylor better stay healthy this season because getting injured while playing for Tom Coughlin is one thing. But if The Godfather of Fantasy Football ain't happy with your performance, he's going to break a lot more than your hamstrings! You know what I mean? Add Pro Bowl QB's Peyton Manning and Brian Griese into this offense and other teams better just fuhgeddabout beating Fab on a weekly basis like they did last season.

Good morning Seattle! I'm Dr. Frasier Crane, it's 10AM and this is your wake up call. Your 2002 fantasy football league draft begins in just 30 minutes. Niles, get Ian and Chris a double latte with a smattering of whipped cream, turn up the Puccini and let's get this show on the road. Yes folks, they overslept and missed the whole thing! That would make them Late For The Draft wouldn't it? Of course Chris Jolley was probably still in a state of shock and unable to move after seeing the new Seahawks uniforms! Exactly what shade of green is that? In fact, I think I saw Spiderman's arch enemy The Green Goblin dropping back into coverage at free safety! And if missing the draft isn't bad enough, Ian Morris did have a little more on his mind in Week One as well, with his wife Lisa delivering the couple's second child, daughter Kaylee, last weekend. Congratulations! And we hope he wasn't Late For The Delivery…

Brian Boghosian and his partner James return to lay The Mack down on anyone who gets in the way of The Moon Runners! Brian, live in the chat room for his first "in person" draft in a few years, had a little technical difficulty of his own as his PC locked up with just four rounds to go. Must've been that Keenan McCardell pick in Round 8 that made Windows crash! Chris Jolley, any ideas? Three New England Patriots (Brady, Patten and the "D") bring their Super Bowl rings to town and Eddie George and Curtis Martin man the backfield as The Moon Runners try to bowl over the competition on their way to their first Rowdy title, the only title that's eluded Brian B thus far.

The man whose records were all broken by Neil last season returns with his next door neighbor along once again for the ride. Yes I'm talking about the (Ray Lewis) limo driving Mike Flinn and last season's co-Rookie of the Year winner Jim Murray who bring the River Ave Rats back for a chance to get their records back. Daunte Culpepper, Stephen Davis and the better dancer of the Gramatica brothers stand out on the Rats roster, along with the last round sleeper pick of one Antwaan Randle El, who promises to put the Slash back Jim's Steeler's offense.

Will somebody please get this dog off of my leg! Oh, hello there, where were we? Oh yeah, team number 11. The infamous, constantly feuding duo of Charlie "Bubba" Baker and Speedo Joe Mastrangelo who bring their tribute to last year's Chuck/Tucker tryst, the aptly named Down Boy! (yes that would be an exclamation point as part of the name). Already talking smack before the season started, I guarantee it won't be long before these two start their annual never ending e-mail argument over who decided once again to not draft any running backs! Of course, the whole time this is going on, Chuck and Joe are usually running off an 8 game winning streak so perhaps these two do know what they're doing after all…

No they were not on a plane, on a tropical island, in Giants Stadium or at a Rutgers game (heaven forbid, who'd be spotted there these days?) during the draft. Ken and Pam Bamrick were actually live and in person (well two people if you count Pam's pregnancy) this year drafting this season's KGB III contingent. With Yancey Thigpen in retirement the comrades from the Kremlin had to go with Keyshawn Johnson at wideout (just make him the damn pick!) and rolled the dice on David Carr as their 2nd QB. So things weren't looking too good post-draft for Kenny B, but did I mention that he drafted Priest "4 TD's" Holmes with his first pick? KGB's prayers are answered. Now we've just got to find a way to keep the Priest in the end zone and away from the little boys.

Next to last, and certainly not next to least, we've got our only two rookie owners this season. The Caruso Brothers, Guy and Joe. Now they've definitely got the Rookie of the Year award sewn up, guess they can flip a coin for it if they'd like but how about the natural "brother rivalry" we've now got going with the Malure Brothers? Should be fun. The boys take us back to the days of Must See TV, and their George Costanza tribute team named The Moops. Everyone remembers the Bubble Boy Seinfeld episode right? If not, I've got a question for you. Who invaded Spain in the 8th century?

And finally, picking once again in his favorite corner spot it's Dave Kang, bringing back Kang Kong for yet another shot at the second fantasy football title that's eluded him since he became the first rookie owner to win the league title way back when Vinny Testaverde had hair (and a monster season for the Baltimore Ravens I might add!) Now Dave's a big Cowboys fan so here's to hoping that Kong doesn't suffer the same "hard knocks" that the 'Boys did when they dropped the season opener to the Texans last week.

Week One results had KGB III taking the high points dollar with a 72 - 45 spanking of Down Boy! Bubba's Brew Crew opened up their title defense with a 66 - 52 win over Cut The Cord. The Moon Runners ran all over the River Ave Rats by a score of 55 - 42. Yeah baby! It was Austin Powers in Golden Domer over The Rising 50 - 23. Did someone say "rising"? Oh, behave! Like the Houston Texans, The Moops won their franchise's inaugural game as they snuck past Kang Kong 41 - 33. The Last Touch Don narrowly edged Late For The Draft 38 - 36 and Wet Toast Offense opened up with a 37 - 16 thrashing of Douche's Wild.

Week Two's match-ups are as follows: Wet Toast Offense (1 - 0) tries to butter, er make that better, Cut The Cord (0 - 1). Kang Kong (0 - 1) meets Douche's Wild (0 - 1) as Rob tries to avoid falling to oh and deuce. Austin Powers in Golden Domer (1 - 0) will be feeling a bit Randy (Moss) when they play Down Boy! (0 - 1). Late For The Draft (0 - 1) tries not to be late for the win column as they face The Rising (0 - 1). Neil tries to keep the multi season winning streak alive as Bubba's Brew Crew (1 - 0) takes on The Moon Runners (1 - 0) in a battle of undefeated teams. The Last Touch Don (1 - 0) hopes to keep it in the family as they match up with the River Ave Rats (0 - 1) and the high flying KGB III (1 - 0) prays for the Priest and another victory against The Moops (1 - 0) and the undefeated Caruso Brothers.

Well that's about long enough for an opening News & Notes column don't you think? I'll be back next week with more commentary on the NFL's comings and goings and I promise a more verbose write-up of each of the Rowdy match-ups from Week Two. 'til next week…