|
Let me start of this week's column with congratulations to Mike Flinn and his wife Christine on the birth of their third child this past week! Kathryn Patricia Flinn was born Sunday September 19th at 10:59 pm. She was 8 lbs, 4oz and 20 1/2" long. Mommy and baby are healthy and happy! Mike also got a 2nd "bundle of joy" this week as his Wardrobe Malfunction team defeated the Genco Olive Oil Company 32 - 28, earning Mike an extra three bucks, which after he divides those spoils up amongst himself and The Jims, should net him a few extra diapers! Genco Olive Oil Company owner Brian Boghosian was magnanimous in defeat, congratulating Mike on his win and the birth of his child. "Take this victory over me as a sign of my justice on your daughter's birth day. Some day I may ask you for favor in return, that day may never come, but if you can do anything to help me beat that Fab guy next week, I would be most grateful"… While we're on the topic of babies and breast-feeding (wait, did anyone mention breast feeding? Where did I get that from?) did anyone else get a chuckle out of seeing the live scoring for the Rob Hanratty vs The Commish's Crew game this past week? In case you missed out on the joke, the scoreboard uses short names for the teams and displayed the game like this:
And as you can tell, Got MiLK? took the First Annual Lactation Bowl with an 11 point victory over Titties and Beer. With the win, Got MiLK? moves to 2 - 0 and along with Sucks 2 B Me is the only other undefeated team in the league after Week 2. What's the secret this season for The Commish? It's quite simple actually. You all know that I've brought in Kevin Kelly to run the day-to-day operations of this team and he's doing a fine job of that mind you. But it's third owner Mark Machiedo who's done wonders with the squad. By convincing everyone that's he not Mark Machiedo but really Ralph "The Karate Kid" Macchio, he's managed to bring in Mr. Miyagi as Got MiLK's new strength and conditioning coach! Now it's just "wax on, wax off" all week until the inevitable victory on Sunday… In a related story, Rob Hanratty has fired his defensive coordinator, Mona Melons, and hired Billy Zabka to call the plays in the new Cobra Kai defense. "Strike First, Strike Hard, No Mercy Sir!"… It definitely doesn't Suck 2 B Neil right now as his Eskow-ness is sitting at 2 - 0 and atop the league standings after taking Joe & Chuck "to the woodshed", spanking Franks & Beans by a score of 39 - 14. Well folks, it looks like Neil's off to yet another one of his patented hot starts. And you all know what that means, don't ya? After finishing 1 - 2 - 2 the last three seasons, we need to cool this guy off. I'm taking suggestions for the next Sports Illustrated cover… All's silent from F&B thus far (and which one is Charlie, the Frank or the Bean?), but you just know that any loss by this team, the all-time Rowdy Friends leaders in victories (124) and winning percentage (.616), can lead to all kinds of chaos. By the way, if you had Joe in the "first baby to be born during the season" pool, I'm sorry to say you lost. But if you've got Joe in the "first owner to fire his partner during the season", I say you're looking pretty good. Official Las Vegas odds have Joe at 3 - 1 to fire Chuck before season's end. That's still running second to Ian's chalk 8 - 5 to have Chris' head, but the odds improve with each loss. Close behind are The Commish at 5 - 1 to fire Kevin Kelly or Ralph Macchio and Bruce Lerman at 7 - 1 to fire Brian Legere (those odds improve to 9 - 2 after Brian's first league wide e-mail goes out). We've also got Mike Flinn currently at 8 - 1 to fire any Jim (25 - 1 if he fires both!) and you get 10 - 1 odds on any Malure firing one of the others. Wagering on the Bamrick and Caruso feuds has temporarily been taken off the board… For the No Shows it was a "no go" this week as they dropped a 36-26 decision to the Dead Fish. For the Fish it's their first win of the season, giving them the lead in "games won by dead fishy teams", one more than the Dolphins. Speaking of the Fins, rookie owner Bruce Lerman breaks his Deron Cherry with his first ever Rowdy Friends win. Congratulations, or should I just say "G'Day Bruce!"… The Café Latte boys still haven't figured out who was ultimately responsible for missing the draft. The latest rumor out of the Pacific Northwest has Ian "The Donald" Morris already looking for replacements for Chris, who's not feeling quite as Jolley as he was this time last month with the spectre of being fired looming large. When asked about the chance of that happening, Chris had this to say; "Ian better be real careful here, you never know when he's gonna need me again in the future, it's a small world after all, you know"… No! Get that song outta my head… Don "Big Daddy" Cardoza and the He-Man Cowboy Haters Club get his first ever Rowdy Friends victory, his first ever high points dollar and salvages a tie of his home-and-home series against The Malure Family with a 49 - 48 squeaker over Two and a Half Men. Due to a quirk in this season's schedule brought on by the plethora of tropical storms in the Atlantic Ocean, these two teams have now played each other twice in the season's first two weeks. I hope they enjoyed each others company, because I hereby promise that they shall never see each other again, unless of course they meet at the end of the season in a position week match-up. Although I hear that the grown so accustomed to each other that Don might be picking up a six of O'Doul's and hanging with Bobby this Sunday to watch the games while Mike and Nick go to Don's apartment to get away from Bobby for awhile! Fab was feeling quite fab on Monday Night as McNabb and Morten gave Growing Up Goal Line their first win of the season, a 33 - 28 victory over Best One. Russ "Cleon" Jones might want to reconsider an early season name change from Best One to Maybe Not Quite As Good As I Thought One? As a word of encouragement to a rookie owner who's dropped his first two games, I'm reminded of the Counting Crows song here where Adam Duritz sings "Mr. Jones and me, gonna be big stars". Big stars? As in big Star Jones? No, I don't regularly watch "The View" but a pun's a pun, you've got to take those shots downfield when you can, no? Yes, don't worry Russ, that first win will come. Let's see when you play Neil on the old schedule here… By the way, did everyone notice the Quentin Griffin fumble that cost the Broncos the game last Sunday? See what happens when Fab delivers one of his patented horses-head helmets! Don't say I didn't warn you in last week's column… And in this week's late game it was No Souper Bowl For You defeating KGB III by a score fo 45 - 35. What's the matter with these Caruso Brothers? Getting DeShaun Foster in a Bush/Gore like chad-hanging tie breaker wasn't good enough for them? No, they had to go out and beat up the comrades too? As if our Russian friends don't have enough trouble with that whole school hijacking thing over there in Beslan? And they're Jet fans to boot! Show a little mercy once in awhile won't you? Better be careful or you might find yourselves getting one of those Colts helmets in the mail with Fab's return address on it… Yes, Ken I do hear that Fab contracts out his horse head business. So while you've got nothing to do this Sunday with the undefeated J-E-T-S on a B-Y-E, you, Pammy and Kenny 3 (The Search for Spock) might want to log onto Fab's web site. Point your Internet browser at www.horseheadstogo.com and do a little online shopping as you try to turnaround this 0 - 2 start by KGB III. I hear Fab's running a special this week on Dallas Mavericks caps… Speaking of waking up next to a horse's head, I need to get some sleep now. It's been a long week, sorry for the delay in getting this week's column up and thank you all for cooperating with me on Transaction Day this past Wednesday. Everyone complied quite nicely to all of my requests so I won't be shopping at Fab's anytime soon… 'til next week…
|
