|
October 7th, 2010 It seemed like Randy Moss needed a season of playing for the Patriots without a contract extension like he needed a hole in the head. Well things got a little better for him this week as he traded in that hole in the head for a horn on the helmet after being traded to the Vikings. When asked about the deal right after it went down, Moss did admit that while he's now totally psyched to be going back to the team he started his NFL career with, he did admit to the fact that he was considering retiring instead. His new QB Brett Favre had no comment other than to say he'd love to be back on the porch of his house on his farm in Mississippi gathering moss. Then he changed his mind and figured that throwing to Moss would be much better than gathering it. Seriously though, once everyone's healthy, the Horned Ones (not the Horned Frogs, that's TCU) will have a formidable receiving corps that compares to the best in the league with Randy Moss on one side and Sidney Rice split wide on the other. However, while they may have the Rice, they certainly don't have the cereal... That belongs to one half of the league's other dynamic duo in Cincinnati where Terrell Owens joins forces with Ocho Cinco, the face on the box of the newest "for charity" breakfast treat, the aptly named Ochocinco's. Now about that "for charity" part. Instead of preaching for charity, Ocho's been forced to talk about chastity instead for you see he had this wonderful idea to put the phone number for the Feed The Children Foundation right there on the front of the package with hopes that everyone who stares in a hypnotic trance at the cereal box in the morning while eating breakfast (what? c'mon I can't be the only one who does that?) would later feel compelled to call the number and donate some change to the charity. Well, you know what they say about the best laid plans right? Oh, and for those of you who already know this story there's no pun intended of course. Well turns out the number on the box was misprinted and the "1-800" became a "1-888" instead. Now here's where the real "sugar" content comes in. You dial this wrong number and instead of Ocho's favorite charity, you get a phone sex line instead! "Fantasy" football indeed! Feed The Children? Not quite. Maybe "Breastfeed The Children", but only if the lady on the other end of the line can have your credit card number first. Don't know about you but I think I'll stick with my Flutie Flakes for just awhile longer thank you. Oh and Rob? Yeah, we're going to need to see some cell phone records, I'm sure you understand... Straight from the land of segues I should never make (but will anyway) we go from breastfeeding charity puns to October being Breast Cancer Awareness month and everyone in the NFL breaking out the pink equipment and accessories! Did I miss it or did they have pop star Pink sing a National Anthem somewhere too? Hey, who better to "get the party started"? Meanwhile over in some fantasy football circles this is referred to as Steve Breaston Awareness Month. He's out with an injury and isn't likely to play in Week 5. Consider yourselves "awared"... Seriously though, I really dig the sideline caps everyone was wearing with the pink trim on the sides. Very cool, and with the first sighting I was on-line to NFL.com and ordered up my co-owner Kevin the New York Giants version. Figured it would look awesome with his pink laptop that he likes to bring to the drafts these days! By the way, nice game by the Giants defense, knocking Chicago QB Jay Cutler absolutely silly. His concussion was so bad I heard he was roaming the sidelines thinking he was the Bears backup QB. Which wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't thinking he was the backup in 1985! Yes folks Cutler was apparently so woozy that he was channelling his inner-Steve Fuller on the sidelines and repeatedly singing this verse from "The Superbowl Shuffle". They say Todd Collins is our man.
The rest of the highlights of the past week in the NFL seem to have gone to the dogs. First Josh Scoobee Dooby Doo kicks a 59 yard field goal as time expired to boost the Jaguars over the Colts. Leading Indianapolis coach Jim Caldwell to mutter in the postgame presser, "...and we would've won it too if it wasn't for those damn kids!"... Next Michael Vick goes down in Philadelphia and what do you know, it's another Kolb sighting! Here's to hoping that Vick heals fast and is healthy enough to play because I hate to be the one to tell you this Mike, but you do know what they do to dogs that go down hurt and can't get back into the fight, don't ya? Just sayin... Finally, we head back to New England where we started this party (Penalty! Illegal re-use of "Pink" song title as a pun. Loss of paragraph. Repeat second down.) Given the show their defense and special teams put on Monday night, I'm not sure who had more ways to score, the Patriots or the lady answering the calls on the other end of the Ochocinco's hotline? Rob, can we get a ruling? For those of you who enjoy such things, Week 3 recaps and short game blurbs follow below. 'til next week... Week 4 Results Kickin' Some Grass 47, Joe's Guarantee 32 Totally Unprepared 43, Pam And Da Boyz 36 My Bironas 42, USCs Innocent 22 The Untouchdownables 37, Golden Taint 26 Dustin The Corn Off The Kolb 34, Best One 15 Don't Eat The Leg 34, Clear 65 Toss Power Trap 29
|
