Save the cows! Free the horses! Gather up the chickens, the barn's on fire! Yes, this week's Rowdy Game of the Week was a real barn burner indeed! Tied at 52 - 52 going into Monday Night (after Ladainian went for 21 on Sunday night, doing what a #1 pick is supposed to do), T.O. Tired and Wide Left both still had key players left. T.O. had a kicker and Wide has both QBs in the game. Well, long story short, T.O. went out on the E-lam (as in Jason), giving Team Flinn-Jim-Jim a 67 - 64 win over (Brian) Legere South. For T.O. it's their 2nd straight 60+ point game, they'll go for a league record 3rd straight this week against Late Again who haven't even scored 60 points combined in their 3 games thus far. Can you say "heavy favorite"? OK, well can you also say "trap game"? Hmmm. So right now Brian's sitting at 0 - 3 and his beloved Raiders are also 0 - 3. Coincidence? Well as they say Moss don't grow on a winless stone. Or something like that…

In what was supposed to be the Game of the Week had it not been upstaged by the high scoring arson mentioned previously, two undefeateds had a sit down, with The First and Goalfather Part Two coming out with a 59 - 38 decision over Champipple, and emerging as the only team to start the Rowdy season at 3 - 0. Great week to be a Jets QB, eh? Both starter and backup out for the season with bum shoulders. Almost make you think someone dropped a box of Jet QB voodoo dolls, eh? Anyone heard from Richard Todd or Kenny O'Brien, make sure they're OK? Anyway, I mention this because Champipple Rob has a history of early season ending injuries to his key players and he's now the proud ex-owner of "Hanging" Chad (heck, Hanging Rotator Cuff) Pennington. The ghost of Errict Rhett looms large still… Or maybe this had something to do with the fact that a FedEx package containing a Colts helmet was found in the Jets locker room before the game? Fab, what are you up too? I thought with Tatum Bell and Mike Anderson on the team this year you would've switched the "horses head jinx" to a Broncos helmet? All this and Junior Gotti getting out of jail in the same week has to make The Commish a little suspicious no?

Another of our 50 point scorers (we had 5 of them this week) was Brian Boghosian's Entourage who opened a can of whup ass on Of Rice And Men, almost tripling Don's output in a 59 - 29 win. Rice owner Don "Baby You Can Drive My" Cardoza was not too happy with his team's defense (or lack thereof) after the game. As a matter of fact, he'd best be described as "steamed rice"… And while we're here has anyone seen Brian Boghosian's entourage? I mean being a pro bowler and all does he have his own "posse"? Do they all wear alley shoes? Maybe even some cool bowling shirts with the collars turned up and one of those wrist protector things on their arms? And tats on their forearms with sayings like "Strike or Die" or "10 in the Pit"? I think we need a pre-game segment on this before next week's Rowdy action. I'll see if Lesley Visser's available…

Nothing to blame Alex for this weekend! Young Alex breaks his Deron Cherry this week and gets his first fantasy football win in a 51 - 36 dismantling of The Whizzinators. The Whizz now sits at 0 - 3, a franchise worst start for The Commish and Kevin. Looking for a scapegoat the two owners have fired the entire marketing department for there "Nobody Beats The Whizz" slogan, heck, as it stands right now everybody beats The Whizz! No word on a replacement yet but anonymous league sources have reported seeing Crazy Eddie around Whizz team headquarters…

Also starting off in the hole at 0 - 3 is Ian's Late Again squad who, like any freshman high school boy, just don't seem to know how to score. With both kickers on a bye at the same time(!), Joe and Charlie's Bury The Hatchet drew the "bye" and easily defeated Late Again by a score of 26 - 15. After being made aware of the "we have no kickers" oversight, Ian did what any good corporate executive would do and "Trumped" his special teams coach. Or maybe he Martha Stewart'ed him? Was he fired or just told that he no longer fit in?... Well maybe he didn't draw the "bye" but it is indeed "bye bye" to the single life for Charlie Baker, who got married this past week, and on a Caribbean beach mind you, to his wife Robin. Congratulations to the happy couple and sorry Charlie, even if your wife's name is Robin, there's no way I'm calling you Batman in this column…

Pam brings da Boyz into 3rd place this week after a 47 - 32 win over previously undefeated Best One. For Best One owner Russ "Brent" Jones, it appears for now he's going to have to settle for being the Sixth Best One, at least until he gets a new winning streak going… Now I'm a little disappointed and feel the need to call out an owner of Da Boyz in this space for you see, Bears RB Thomas Jones had been available as a free agent for two weeks and despite having Kevin Jones and Julius Jones at RB, he was never even considered for pickup by Pam and Ken! Yeah I know, they've got a nice 3rd RB named Cadillac Williams and why would they drop him? Why because his name's not Cadillac Jones that's why! Since when has this league been about winning? It's all about style man, and image! Just ask the members of Brian B's entourage…

Defending champ Sucks 2 B Me, recovers nicely from last week's single digit offering, rebounding with a 28 - 22 win over the also previously undefeated Williams Brothers. After the game Serena Malure and Venus Migliore were left to ponder what could've been a tie had they just dropped Ricky Williams and picked up Jet running back Sowell instead. Come on guys, what happened to those days when you used to annually pick up Richie Anderson in Week 3? It's not like you would've been breaking any new ground here. He's the best fullback in the game, you've got to have him! For Neil, it appears his new strategy of cutting anyone who doesn't score may have worked, but any amateur economist can tell him that spending $8 a week to win $3 isn't really going to work out in the long run.

So now it's time for the weekly "Ghosts of Draft Days Past" paragraph where we recall famous moments in draft history in honor of our 15th season as a league. Well with all three surviving league founding members (Legeres North and South and Paciific Northwest Ian) currently sitting at a collective 0 - 9, let's give one of them something to laugh at. Themselves! I set the stage, Brian Legere's house, a.k.a. The Den in Denville, 1997 Draft, a week before The Commish and Trish get married. It's a full house on Draft Day because the whole gang's taking a trip up to Connecticut and the casinos after the draft for The Commish's bachelor party. Despite there being a post-draft bachelor party in the works, we've still got an all-female team present…

Trish (the soon to be Mrs. Commish), Brian's wife Sarah and Sarah's sister-in-law Elaine make up The First Place Wives Club (who finish a respectable 8 - 9 that season) and they draft then Lions running back James Stewart in one of the earlier rounds. But not before first asking if there's anything wrong with him, is he injured or what have you? Well, out of the middle of room Ian Morris rises from his seat, shuffles/ambles over to where the girls have set up shop and breaks into his best Jimmy Stewart impression.

You know Jimmy Stewart the actor? From that classic Christmas movie, "It's a Wonderful Life"? "Is there anything wrong with me? Me? No I'm fine!" Clarence! Clarence! Help me, Clarence! Get me back! Get me back, I don't care what happens to me! Get me back to my wife and kids! Help me Clarence, please! Please! I wanna live again. I wanna live again. Please, God, let me live again!". Cracks up the entire room, (even those who've never seen the movie or have no idea what Ian's doing) and we have to take a 10 minute break because the girls are now totally frightened to death and I've got tears streaming down my face and staining the draft board stickers from laughing so hard! Classic Ian! We miss ya on Draft Day man! Got to fly in for the next one dude…