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November 24th, 2010
Well since that worked out so well last week, let's see if we can't keep the Jinx Ball rolling a bit longer and find a way to make this league a 9 or 10 team race again as we head into the holiday season. Oh, and Fab? When Joe comes calling asking if you can get "that guy you know" to pay me a visit? Well, I'll double whatever it is he's offering you for the service...
November 19th, 2010
Right about this time of year is when I usually bust out the first attempted cover jinx of the season. Since Joe & Charlie have opened up a two game lead on the rest of the field I'd say it's the perfect time for some Sports Illustrated cover action! Even went so far as to see if we can't help some of the lower teams get back into the race with the power of reverse engineering this jinx thing...
November 4th, 2010
Mid-season Pop Quiz time! Everyone get your #2 pencils out and keep your eyes on your own paper...
1. Jacob Tamme is:
A. That vampire dude in the Twilight books and movies
B. No wait, Jacob's the werewolf dude in Twilight isn't he?
C. That guy in the cabin from "Lost"
D. Peyton Manning's newest plaything
2. If Visanthe Shiancoe texted the same type of pics to this Jen Sterger reporter chick instead of Favre...
A. They'd need lots of smelling salts to revive her
B. Wait are you sure that's Visanthe and not Greg Oden?
C. Shiancoe would've gone "over the 160 character limit", if you know what I mean
D. all of the above
3. Which of the following teams has Randy Moss NOT played for yet this season
A. Patriots
B. Vikings
C. Titans
D. Paul Crewe's "Mean Machine" from "The Longest Yard"
4. Who's in better cardiovascular shape to run the Redskins two-minute drill?
A. Donovan McNabb
B. Rex Grossman
C. The Commish after carting his toddler on his shoulders through the myriad of parks in Walt Disney World for two weeks
D. Kevin Kelly
5. When you hear the term "getting the shaft", what immediately comes to mind?
A. Jen Sterger (see question #2 above)
B. Isaac Hayes (Can you dig it? Shut your mouth!)
C. Those poor guys in Chile
D. Cowboys coach Wade Phillips
6. What historic sporting achievement has the city of San Francisco NOT witnessed yet this season?
A. The Giants win the World Series
B. Mike Flinn captures the Full Monty Fantasy Baseball League title
C. The long awaited return of the Oakland Raiders and Rob Hanratty to competitive fantasy football
D. A consistent game from a 49ers QB
7. Which "Johnson" is not a member of Rookie Eddie Koval's league leading Rowdy Friends roster?
A. Texans WR Andre Johnson
B. Bills WR Steve Johnson
C. Do I really need to reference question #2 again in this quiz for a cheap laugh?
D. Former U of Miami linebacker and WWE Wrestler and now Disney movie bitch Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
8. The latest starting QB of the Cleveland Browns is named:
A. Colt McCoy
B. Colt Seavers (a.k.a. The Fall Guy)
C. Colt .45 (and Billy Dee Williams)
D. Jacob Tamme
9. After Tony Romo injured his shoulder who took over at QB for the Cowboys?
A. Jon Kitna
B. Hello Kitty
C. 19th century American frontiersman Kit Carson
D. That robotic car that David Hasselhoff rode in "Knight Rider"
10. Steelers LB James Harrison keeps getting fined for:
A. Helmet to helmet hits
B. Teasing Troy Polamalu about his hair
C. Complaining about all his previous fines
D. It's payback for that 100 yard sideline interception return since Roger Goodell had the Cardinals and the points in that Super Bowl
11. A math problem: If the NFL currently plays 4 preseason games and 16 regular season games, but the owners want to "expand" the schedule to include 2 preseason games and 18 regular season games, by how many games will the season actually expand?
A. 2
B. 18
C. Can I show my work for partial credit?
D. Hey wait a minute! Can I get a dictionary definition of "expand" over here?
12. Considering Bobby & Nick's team name, what has Joe really Guaranteed us?
A. Another season in the Third Divison
B. That the Boyz formerly known as Binder need a few more cupcakes on their schedule. Hey when do we play Bruce?
C. That he (Mastrangelo that is) is really the brains behind this whole fantasy football juggernaut thing
D. That Bobby & Nick should've let Mike pick David Akers on Draft Day!
13. Which phrase best describes defending champ Don's rebound from a slow start this season?
A. "He's finally found his footing"
B. "He's got a leg up on the competition"
C. "Guess he replaced the batteries in the artificial leg remote, eh?"
D. All of the above
14. Without cheating by looking at the team pages, Brian Boghosian correct team name is:
A. Clear 65 Power Toss Trap
B. Clear 65 Toss Power Trap
C. Clear 65 Trap Power Toss
D. Clearasil: Clearer Skin In Just Three Days, Guaranteed!
15. The Commish & Kevin's follow up team name to Rexual Healing in 2011 will be:
A. Rex On The Beach
B. Rex In The City
C. The Rex Offenders
D. Rexting With Brett (OK, one more plug for question #2!)
16. Which is the early favorite for Neil's 2011 team name?
A. Braylon's Innocent
B. Big Ben's Still An Idiot
C. Jeremy Stevens Is Innocent (would Neil name his team after a pot smoking TE?...)
D. Pat McAfee's Innocent (... or a "liquored up punter"?)
17. Who's having a better season?
A. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones
B. 2004 Kentucky Derby and Preakness winning horse Smarty Jones (now retired "to stud")
C. ex Olympic medal winner and steroid user turned WNBA player Marion Jones
D. Best One owner Russ Jones
18. Which Houston RB is not a member of the Kickin Some Grass backfield contingent?
A. Arian Foster
B. Derrick Ward
C. Earl Campbell
D. Whitney Houston (sorry that would be Houston R&B, not Houston RB, my bad)
19. What mafia inspired movie has Fab NOT named a fantasy football team after yet?
A. The Godfather
B. The Last Don
C. Analyze This
D. Married To The Mob
20. "Fancy Meeting You On Vacation" Question: Draft Host and Pam And Da Boyz owner Ken Bamrick recently had his kids out until what time when the Magic Kingdom featured "extra extended evening hours" while on vacation in Disney World?
A. 10 PM (so many rides, so little time...)
B. midnight (...at the oasis)
C. 2:49 AM (Ken, I remind you that Mrs. Commish ran a daycare in NJ and has the DYFS number in her Rolodex!)
D. Please note that I did not implicate Pam or disparage her parenting skills here in any way! Even so, that's probably the last half-price TV offer I'll ever see...
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