OK, so check out this idea I have for a new reality show. We start with seven NFL receivers forced to live together for an entire season in a small visitors locker room (just like on MTV's Real World). Then each week they get to vote off one of their teammates (a la Survivor) who isn't actually staying in the locker room with them with some flimsy excuse like "hey I'm trying my best, but they ain't carrying their weight (like Leon says, "there's no "we" in team either). Of course, there's our big secret, one of them is really not a multi millionaire bonus baby (shades Joe Millionaire), the mega contract that he signed in the off-season is really just a public relations ploy. Throw in a little high fashion as each player tries to out "Queer Eye for the Receiver Guy" the other, mix in a "Bachelor" of a tight end (please no more "Queer Guy" jokes here) and a guy who has no idea what he's doing with the others (Joe Schmo), and fill the whole place with hidden cameras and microphones (can you say Big Brother?), catching all kinds of drug use (plus the inevitable apologies to teammates and family that follows getting caught) and people talking about not playing hard all the time, and I think we've got ourselves a ratings blockbuster, don't you? OK, now for the participants, and you try to match them up to their intros from the opening section. Randy Moss, Keyshawn Johnson, Terrell Owens, David Boston, Jimmy Smith, Jeremy Shockey and Wayne Chrebet. Sounds cool, doesn't it? See you next Tuesday night on FOX. Oh and we need a name don't we? Let's call this show "Temptation Sideline"…

Of course should that sure thing misfire, we can always produce one of those roundtable discussion type news shows, you know the kind they have on the cable news channels all the time where there's a moderator in the studio and four talking heads in boxes at each corner of the TV screen? I'm thinking Rush Limbaugh in the studio and Donovan McNabb, Daunte Culpepper, Byron Leftwich and Aaron Brooks in the boxes. What do you think? Could it work? We could call it "We're In No Rush" and have it play on BET in primetime up against all those right wing propaganda shows on FOX News and CNN…

So you're still not sure if my TV ideas are gonna fly? Don't like the reality shows or the roundtable news programs? OK, how's about a drama? We'll call it "You Can Go Home Again" and it'll star Bill Parcells. As a matter of fact, the first two weeks of the show have already aired and it's a big hit. Parcells takes the Cowboys into The Meadowlands, the home of two of the previous New York teams he's coached, and leaves undefeated! If you missed those two episodes be sure to catch our double length special this week, when we follow the homecomings of Steve Mariucci (Lions play in San Fran), Emmitt Smith (the Cards come in to Big D), Mike Holmgren's undefeated Seahawks on the Frozen Tundra of Lambeau, and Tony Dungy's return to Tampa with his Colts "D" looking even better then his old team's…

With three shows now on the Fall TV slate, it's time for Rob Hanratty to complain about the schedule, the league schedule that is. And I quote…

"I hate it. Every year, someone gets screwed because the schedule just works out that way. I think I get it a little too often. Damn it. After tonight, my FB team could have 200 Points Against thus far on the season. That could possibly be more than the 1st AND 2nd place teams combined. In addition, I will be 1-3 after this week. At least two teams in front of me will be 3-1 with less Points For. In addition, in two out of those three losses, I had the highest pts for a losing team for the week...and almost did it on the other one. I am averaging 38.5 points per week...and am at the bottom of the pile. Please explain how that happens in this weeks News and Notes column. ARGH!"

It's actually only 194 points against, but Rob's right, the 1st and 2nd place defenses (Kevin Kelly's Injection 4 - 3 and The Penske File's Constanza Crush) have given up only 191 combined… Rob has also correctly predicted that two teams with less points than his Girls would be ahead of him at 3 - 1 (Keep It Rolling Along with 148 and Mr. Underhill's Visa with a mere 123). Nice prognostication there Rob, and as for that explanation? Well, allow me to quote Rod Stewart, "some guys have all the luck"… Did I mention yet that Rob once took the overall seasonal high points despite finishing in 7th place? Did I mention that Rob also got Dany "Bitchin' Ferrari" Heatley in our hocket draft last week, a few days before the Pelle Lindbergh-like car crash? Hey, Kenny Bamrick just coughed into his hand and muttered something that sounded like "Pennington"! Cut that out!

Peyton Manning throws 6 TD passes against his father Archie's old team and what do you know, they're breaking out the paper bags in New Orleans once again! Anybody got an old brown paper lunch bag that The Commish can borrow for the next three months?… Herm Edwards claims he still likes his team. So in honor of Herm's false vote of confidence and the 0 - 4 records of both the Jets and KGB III somebody give me a J-E-S-T, jest, jest, jest! And speaking of jesters, will somebody please bitch slap Kurt Warner's wife already!…

Does anyone else find it eerie that both running backs named Smith who were dropped last week scored? Yes, both Emmitt and Onterrio found end zone and now both are once again on league rosters. Onterrio goes back to the Caruso Bros (and didn't you learn your lesson last year with Clinton Portis?) and Emmit's reunited with The Binder Boyz as Bobby (after getting permission from new Glory Days head man Nick) claims his former #1 pick. "Reunited and it feels so good…"

We've got our third different 1st place team in the first four weeks as Kevin Kelly's Cortisone Injection is our last undefeated team left standing… We've still got two oh-fers as KGB and Sleeping With The Fish are still looking for their first victory… Five teams are at 2 and 2, including Brian Legere's No Helmets, No Pads, No Shoes, No Service and with this past week's loss, Brian became the 1st owner not part of the Malure family to lose 100 career Rowdy Friends games. But he'll be joined in that company soon enough as Ian's just one Luau of a loss away himself. The Malure Brothers, Brian Legere and Ian Morris? Hey, what if we put them all in an apartment and forced them to live together all football season… 'til next week…