OK back to the old format for this week's column… Week 5 in the NFL gave us yet another Redskins QB, Patrick Ramsey. And how many more does Mr. Spurrier have tucked away on the practice squad? The Raiders (or as Berman likes to say, The Ray-duhz) reamin undefeated as Rich Gannon starts stirring the ghost of Dan Fouts and Air Coryell! Speaking of ghosts, an old friend Tommy Maddox looked sharp behind center for the Steelers despite the loss. A Panthers kicker finally made a field goal (too bad this one didn't count for anything) and the Browns almost comeback in the final minutes, again, at least this time there were no thrown helmets. The Chargers have finally lost one, the Priest is still holding High Mass in the end zone, John Gruden has the Bucs in first place in the NFC South and hey, is that the Ravens in first place in the AFC North? Quoth (or at least paraphrased) the Raven, "evermore"!

Back to the Rowdiness, we've got yet another new league leader as KGB III takes over the top spot after a 56 - 45 win over the helpless Late For The Draft. It's been a good two weeks for The Bamricks as they defeated their arch rival Mike Flinn in Week 4 and took a share of the high points dollar this past week, ironically sharing the Washington with Mike Flinn himself! Who says we can't all get along? Speaking of getting along, is there any turmoil in Late For camp? A disastrous 0 - 5 start has to have Ian "Papa Bear" Morris thinking about looking elsewhere for a new managing partner. Despite the results, Ian has given Chris Jolley the dreaded Vote of Confidence. Oh yes, a "jolly" time indeed in Seattle folks…

Now to those afore mentioned Rats who get off the Schneid with a 56 - 28 doubling of Kang Kong. Jay Fiedler "On The Roof" played his Fielder's tune with 12 points and Sebastian Janikowski "kicked in" with 7 points despite "feeling Randy" after a DUI arrest during the week. At least Sebby was nice enough not to run over the officer on the scene. Or was he just too drunk to find the gas pedal? For Kang Kong, it's the end of an era after Dave dropped Vinny Testaverde from the roster in favor of Chad Pennington. You'll remember it was Vinny's monstrous comeback season with the Ravens that led to Dave's one and only Rowdy title back in 1996. Yeah I know, I've got to update the league's history web site. Thanks for the reminder to all who've brought this to my attention the past few weeks.

About time we had a tie this season, isn't it? Well ask and you shall receive as Douche's Wild and The Last Touch Don battle to a 49 - 49 stalemate. Kind of brings back memories of the baseball All Star Game, doesn't it? Fabrizio offered to break the tie with dueling pistols at 10 paces but Rob wisely rejected the offer and settled for the buck-fifty and his share of the career ties lead. Making one more connection in this match-up, does anyone find it ironic that on the week that Fab plays Rob, the main character featured in the Sopranos episode is a guy named Johnny Sack? Sorry Rob, that's Sack with a "K", but now I think you understand why I made the reference…

In what will go in the books as the 3rd lowest scoring single team, single game score of all time, Cut The Cord dropped a 32 - 6 decision to The Rising. Yes, once again, I do realize that I haven't updated the league history web site through last season yet. I'm working on it, hope to have it done before the middle of the season. Will everyone please keep setting records so I'm forced to look them up and realize I don't have last season numbers in there yet! The Rising continues The Kicking this week. Besides kicking Kevin's ass, both Akers and Mare remain amongst the league leaders. "They're the best! We've got to keep them!" Since he loves his kickers so much, Bobby Malure has changed his non-alcoholic beer of choice from O'Doul's to a new brand called O'Lindo's… For Cut The Cord, it's a bad time as the QB of Kev's favorite team, the Falcons Michael Vick, goes down with a injury just as he's about to play the Giants next week. A game for which Kevin just happens to have tickets to. Well Sniper, hope you enjoy the Doug Johnson Show…

The Moon Runners advance to 4 - 1 and continue to lead the Sharpe Division after a 43 - 39 win over Down Boy! For Brian B and J-Mack it's their franchises best start ever, and coincidentally it comes in a season when they drafted their own team! Now if that's not a reason to show up for Draft Day I don't know what is! Are you listening Seattle? Ouch, personal foul on The Commish, dissing a team after their paragraph's already been written. Fifteen yards, automatic first down… Off to their usual 2 - 3 start, look for Charlie and Joe to rev things up in the next few weeks. The bookies all know that this franchise is always good for a six week run of victories and it usually starts with some sort of e-mail tirade from one of the owners dissing the other's managerial skills. Hint, hint. Man, do I feel like Conrad Dobler or what?

Although it's early in the season, Bubba's Brew Crew keeps their hopes for a title defense alive after a 37 - 26 win over the Wet Toast Offense. Despite kicking the butter off of Brian and Sarah's toast, Neil was nice enough to pick up an inflatable Raiders helmet for Brian and Sarah when he traveled to Buffalo to see the Raiders stomp all over his beloved Bills. Can you say "olive branch"? Now if Kevin had given Sarah some sort of Raiders memorabilia (say a Howie Long picture?) all those years ago at the Draft when he stole Jeff Hostetler and Tim Brown out from under her, he may not have gotten thrown out of their apartment with 6 round still left in the draft! Anyone else taking notes here?

And once again the Power was not on in Austin as Austin Powers in Golden Domer fell to the powerful rookie Caruso Brothers and The Moops by a score of 54 - 36. And what a week it was for former XFL stars as Tommy Maddox threw 3 TD's for the Domers and Jose Cortez kicked in with 13 points for The Moops. And for a prize of 50 yard line tickets to next week's non-existent Jets game, who can be the first to name the two teams that these two guys played for in the XFL. Employees of The Commish's Office and former Stone Cold Steve Austin XFL Fantasy Football League champions and their families are not eligible to win…

Week 6 games look like this: The River Ave Rats (1 - 4) hope to continue their winning ways when they meet up with the Wet Toast Offense (2 - 3). Douche's Wild (2 - 2 - 1) hopes to avoid their second tie in a row when they play Late For The Draft (0 - 5) for whom a tie at this point in the season would be a whole lot better than kissing you sister! The Moon Runners (4 - 1) power it up against Austin Powers in Golden Domer (2 - 3). Kang Kong (2 - 3) hopes to scale The Rising (2 - 3). Neil tries to get back to the top when Bubba's Brew Crew (4 - 1) matches up against The Moops (4 - 1). Down Boy! (2 - 3) tries to turn things around against the reeling Cut The Cord (3 - 2) and KGB III (4 - 1) hopes to extend their reign against The Last Touch Don (2 - 2 - 1).

Hey, anyone know how Kevin Shanley's doing? Tell him The Commish says "hi" and tell the former owner of a team named "Kickers?" that KGB's already used six kickers this season, he ought to get a kick out of that one (no pun intended)! Don't forget about the byes this week. The Philadelphia Eagles nabb a little McRest, the Arizona Cardinals take a siesta in the desert, the Chicago Bears get to sit back and sip a little Champaign and finally, a week where we're not subjected to watching the J-E-T-S on T-V! Well that's about all I've got for now. It's Opening Night of the NHL tonight so I'm going to grab my tuke, put some back bacon on the fryer, open up a case of Molson and enjoy the games, eh? Koo-loo-koo-koo, koo-loo-koo-koo! Take off you hosers! 'til next week…