So go ahead and raise your hand if you thought the SI Cover was really going to jinx Fab's team. OK, I see one, two, three… Well, guess what? Fuhgeddaboudit! No freakin' dice! The First And Goalfather, Part 2 says "What curse? We don't believe in stinkin' curses!" and goes out and whacks Blame It On Alex, 67 - 33, improving to 5 - 0, still undefeated, and in first place and control of The Rowdy. Despite the seemingly "sure thing" victory, given the presence of the SI Cover and all, Bruce is now left facing one of those "father/son" conversations where he needs to explain to Alex how "things don't always turn out how they're supposed to in life". Don't worry Bruce, some ice cream and another Dolphin receiver and he'll forget all about this little encounter with The Goalfather. If that fails, I hear Viking cornerback Fred Smoot has another boat trip going out on Lake Minnetonka on Saturday…

Pam And Da Boyz "garner" another win this week as Matt Bryant defeated The Whizzinators 12 - 11. Oh wait, the other 11 guys on their team also chipped in with 33 more points so make that a 45 - 11 loss for The Whizz who really are pissing the season away with just one win in their first 5 games. You know I was going to start this paragraph with some sort of comment about how Pam dominates my team every year but then I got this nasty visual involving Pam, a leather outfit, a bullwhip and Kevin tied and gagged and hanging on one of those "wheel of fortune" things and after I stopped shaking uncontrollably and wiped the sweat from my brow I went back to the over-used Charlie Garner angle from year's past. Nice call, eh? Yeah, I know, you're gonna have this in your head for the rest of the column now aren't you? So is it Pam as a Dominatrix or Kevin bound and gagged that's got you all disturbed? Ken, don't answer that…

For the 2nd week in a row we've got a tie! And we're nowhere near Father's Day on the calendar are we? Once again, it's Monday night and a decision for "go for two" late in the game results in a Rowdy tie. Last week's Green Bay two-pointer to Robert Ferguson gave Neil a tie with Richmond Brian. This week it's Best One and The Williams Brothers splitting a buck-fifty each after a 30 - 30 deadlock which came about when the Chargers went for two late in the game, denying kicker Nate Kaeding a chance to win one for Russ, who we all know was just "Jonesing" for a victory. For The Bros some long-sighted Draft Day decisions look like they're returning some value a The Bus scored in his return on Monday night and smoke 'em if you got 'em boys, because Ricky's back for the Fins this week and he promises to "light up" the Bros running game…

In a game that saw the keys to the Rowdy cellar (I guess that would make it the whine cellar) change hands, Wide Left defeated Late Again by a score of 44 - 20 and shot all the way up the charts "with a bullet" to 11th place in the overall standings. When informed that his team had hit rock bottom, Ian announced he would take fire the board, offer both his QBs retirement packages, take Late Again into Chapter 11, and re-emerge with a new organizational structure. Details are sketchy right now, but rumor from the Late Again campus has it we're going to see the first ever 12 WR team in league history in this "positional reorganization". But Ian won't be the first one to think of this as we all know Neil stays up nights trying to figure out how to replace his whole team each week!

Quickly wrapping up the rest of this week's games so I can fit my little comic in at the bottom of this page… T.O. Tired T.O. Finish is obviously not too tired to win as FlinnJim takes sole possession at the top of the South Jersey division after a 37 - 26 cooking of Of Rice And Men. Don's critically acclaimed Uncle Ben's Converted Offense came up short so now he's fired the offensive coordinator, taken over duties himself and if the rumors are true we're going to see the new "boiled in the bag" offense next week. Just think Run N' Shoot, but with less carbs and calories… Brian B's Entourage improves to 4 - 1, finding their way up to 2nd place after defeating Sucks 2 B Me 38 - 25… And more Champipple for the house, bartender! Rob loses a Deuce but wins a game, 49 - 20 over Bury The Hatchet. So Charlie "Batman" Baker is now 0 - 2 since he married Robin. Uh-oh! Time for a shakeup in the Batcave? Joe was unavailable for comment… Apologies to those owners who I gave "short press" to this week, we'll try to make it up next week. Assuming that your team does something newsworthy this weekend that is…

Now it's time for another episode of Draft Day Recaps. For this one I take you into the "way back machine" as we travel all the way back to the year 1991, the first year of the All My Rowdy Friends Fantasy Football League. Scott "Scooter" Gaffney, a cool dude I used to sit next to at work, and a life-long rabid Bills fan (think Neil before we all knew Neil) gets the #1 pick in the inaugural draft, held at the original Commish's Office in Newington, Connecticut. Now I mentioned Scott was a Bills fan (he grew up in Oswego, New York, just outside of Buffalo) but in case you didn't know that, he certainly proved it on Draft Day by going Thurman Thomas, Jim Kelly, Andre Reed and Scott Norwood with picks 1 through 4 and wouldn't you know it, he wins the league going away! Which of course made all of us fantasy football newbies think that getting the #1 pick pretty much wrapped up the league for you. Yeah right, how wrong were we? Best team name that year? Brian Legere's L.A. Gears which was one of the few teams in league history to go the "city-nickname" route while also parodying both a popular brand of footwear (at the time) and the owner's last name! Ah, the simple days…

Ok, now if you'll excuse me, I ate a big lunch and now it's time to "take the Cleveland Browns to the Super Bowl" if you know what I mean? After that, I've got to pack. I'll be in the Witness Protection Program if you need me later in the week. And if Fab or anyone who's name ends in a vowel calls, just tell them I'm in the shower, I'll have to call them back… 'til