Marc Bulger? David Garrard? Doug Johnson? Did I accidentally tune into a replay of the 2001 NFL Europe season last Sunday instead of NFL action? No, after further review it does appear that the three guys mentioned above are in fact, bonafide NFL starting quarterbacks.

David Garrard was pressed into action for Jacksonville after Mark Brunell suffered a concussion early in the game and responded with two rushing TD's in a loss to Tennessee. No, Joe, you can't pick up Garrard at RB, he's a QB. However, Stacey Mack is a RB on the Jaguars. You remember him don't you? Or maybe Chuck does, and he'd like to refresh your memory for you? Actually, I think Charlie's still reeling from last season's Trung Canidate incident…

Doug Johnson is the Falcons QB who led his team to an easier than expected victory over the New York Giants after Michael Vick was forced to sit out last week. Did I mention that Kevin Kelly went to that game? And did I mention that Kevin has a red, black and white leather Atlanta Falcons jacket with that black bird logo thing covering the entire back? Well there's no debating the man's fashion style. Or as former WWE wrestler The Godfather used to say before every match, "pimpin' ain't easy"…

And things are starting to percolate in St. Louis as Marc Bulger, the third string QB when the season started, led the Rams to their first victory over the previously undefeated Oakland Raiders. Sorry 'bout that Bro two-fold. First, sorry you and Sarah's favorite team lost and second, that I picked them in our office pool and had I went with the Rams (as you predicted) we would've won the week. Also making a 2nd half appearance last week at QB for Carolina was Chris Weinke, who's actually two years older than the man he replaced, Rodney Peete…

Getting back to those Rams QB's for a second, Rob Hanratty, the man who once upon a time nabbed Kurt Warner with the last pick of the draft, is obviously paying for that little spot of luck this season. You see, Rob's had a lock on all the Rams QB's thus far this season, having selected Warner with the 2nd overall pick this time around and replacing him with Jamie Martin two weeks ago. Well, it seems like Rob was sleeping at the wheel and forgot to replace his Rams QB once again this past week, leaving him with a big fat 0 at the QB spot occupied by the injured Martin, when he could've had the 15 points from Bulger's Crystals. Now, he's looking at Rutgers alum Ray Lucas in his 2nd QB spot for this upcoming week. For a Rutgers schedule refrigerator magnet, can anyone tell me the last two Rutgers non-QB, offensive players to play in the NFL?

Speaking of Rutgers, season ticket holders KGB III (and I bet they already have a magnetic schedule, don't they?) just Keep Getting Better as they hold on to the top spot in the league this week despite having just picked up their sixth kicker already this season. Actually it's the 2nd time around for Jets kicker John Hall but who's counting? "Kickers? We don't need no stinkin' kickers!" But they most definitely needed kickers last Sunday night. And how great was that game where Jason Elam hits a 55-yarder with 45 seconds remaining to give the Broncos an apparent victory over the Dolphins only to be one-upped by an Olindo Mare 53 yarder as time expired as the Fins upset the Broncos in Denver? Congratulations to those of you who had over-108 yards in field goals in the final two minutes in the Adam Vinatieri Ultimate Fantasy Football League on Sportsline.com…

Did I hear someone say over/under? Ok, here's a good proposition bet for you. Which one of these will be higher this week? The number of points scored by the Jets offense, the number of additional victims claimed by the D.C. area sniper or the number of times the Anaheim Angels walk Barry Bonds in the two World Series games this weekend? How about a wager on who wins more games this season, Late For The Draft or the Cincinnati Bengals… And from the "Can You Top This" and "I Know What You Did on Your Bye Week" department, Bears running back Anthony Thomas rescued a total stranger after pulling him from a burning car! In our league the A-Train is owned by Kevin Kelly, but instead of proclaiming Thomas a hero, all Kevin could say was "What's he doing that for? He could've burned his hand!" All in favor of throwing the aforementioned Atlanta Falcons leather jacket into a burning car, say "aye!"…

Moving back to our league once again, the game of the week featured Austin Powers in Golden Domer taking the high points Washington greenie (Yeah Baby!) after a win over The Moon Runners. The Runners had most of their players in the 4PM games and the Golden Domers had most of their players performing on Channel 708 on DirectTV's NFL Sunday Ticket in the Saints/Redskins game. After the 1PM contests, the Moonies trailed by a score of 43 - 4. They then rallied back in the late games, as The Commish downed an entire bottle of antacid while watching their lead dwindle to 43 - 38. The Sunday night game would be the deciding factor as Rickey Williams (who by the way has not yet broken his leg as my wonderfully supportive wife predicted after I selected him with the 3rd overall pick on Draft Day!) outscored Mike Anderson 12 - 3. After a Garrison Hearst one-pointer on Monday, The Commish and Marky Mark Machiedo held off Brian B and James Mack Daddy by a score of 56 - 41.

Our backup game of the week was a 43 - 43 tie, our 2nd one in as many weeks, between Bubba's Brew Crew and The Moops. The Moops had 8 of their 10 active guys score (Arizona was on a bye and which Caruso sibling had the brilliant idea to pick up Olandis Gary and Jamel White by the way?) while the Crew had only 5 of their active 11 but still managed to break through the previously impenetrable Plastic Bubble Defense (26.8 points against per game) for enough points for the tie.

The Commish's World Series prediction (for entertainment purposes only!), Angels in 7 over the Giants as Barry Bonds goes 2 for his 11 official at-bats (after 17 walks, 5 intentionally) with one homers and a double. Can you say "Rally Monkey"? Back to the NFL, Week 7's byes include the New York Giants (who have a better chance of scoring more than 10 points now that they're not actually playing), the Cincinnati Bengals (and don't they have a bye every week?), the New England Patriots (that's bye, as in bye-bye to a Super Bowl repeat after 3 straight losses) and Remember The Titans? Well they've got a bye also this week…

A couple of quick hits before I leave you for another week. I believe that Mike Flinn may be the first team owner to have a QB on his roster from his alma mater (Marc Bulger, West Virginia), please correct me if I'm wrong here. Any chance Jim Murray went to Central Florida, alma mater of one Daunte Culpepper? Because if he did, the Rats would be two-for-two… After yet another big week from the Chargers RB Ladainian Tomlinson, Dave Kang is considering renaming his team to LaKangian Kong… Last Touch Don owner, Fab Sparacino, whose team has not been so "fab" during their current three game losing streak, and desperately needing to get more scoring into the offense, has a contract out on Fred Taylor's knee. Perhaps the Rhode Island crew from the Sopranos episode where they were gonna whack Johnny Sack could be of some assistance? Just let me know, I went to school up there, I might have a connection or two…

OK, have I gotten every team at least a quick mention in this week's column? Hope so. If not, my apologies, we'll do a whole autobiographical story on you next week if I've left anyone out. "Hey Commish, do you have that league history updated through last season yet?" "No sorry, I was too busy trying to add up all the points scored by Jason Elam (22) and Mike Vanderjagt (19) this week, both of whom would've single-handedly defeated Late For The Draft (17)!" Can't be long now before Ian Morris fires Chris Jolley and hires Lou Piniella to be the new Late For head coach… Wednesday ,October 16th is a holiday, it's Bosses Day. I hope that Bobby and Mike Malure remembered to send Bruce Springsteen a card… In closing, I'd like to say that on Monday Night Football I'd love to see more Melissa Stark. Stark naked, that is! Well unless anyone's got a question that's all I've got time for this week. Thank you, goodnight and please don't forget to pick up your jackets at the coat check on the way out… 'til next week…