Now that we've past the halfway point of the season, let's check in on our Rowdy Friends with some team-by-team notes. We'll check in with half of our teams this week, and return next week to see how the other half are doing…

KGB III - Dropping to a disastrous 1 - 8, KGB III owner Ken Bamrick has become the first coach in league history to fire himself! Pam now takes over the team on an interim basis but rumors are flying as to who might be the new KGB koach. The front runner appears to be Steve Spurrier, followed by Dave Wannstadt, recently retired Attorney General John Ashcroft and the long shot dark horse candidate, Ken's Emerson Boozer jersey.

Franks and Beans - With the dropping of Bubba Franks from the roster this past week, there is suddenly a hole in Charlie and Joe's team name. The obvious choice would be to replace the "franks" with his replacement Miami Dolphins tight end Randy McMichael. However, McMichael and Beans, or even Micks and Beans, doesn't flow off the tongue. So instead, suggestions include using one of the teams current QBs to complete the name. Possibilities are (Trent) Green Beans or (Brian) Griese Beans. Too bad no one named "Porkand" is on a roster. And too bad Carolina Panthers RB Rod Smart is injured, otherwise they could've picked him up and been He Hate Beans.

Sucks 2 B Me - Sitting atop the Rowdy with a 6 - 2 - 1 record, Neil may become the first owner to win the league and still lose money! Averaging about $4 in moves a week thus far (and getting only $3 back per win), Neil's got to be happy that the bye weeks are over after this week. After all, how many times can you swap Onterrio Smith and Drew Bennett on and off a roster? All this hard work managing the roster has solo owner Neil once again looking for a partner. He's thinking of holding open auditions but emphatically states that no interviews will be granted to members of his immediate family, anyone with four legs and a tail, or anyone who's whole name rhymes with "Lark Haven". Hey wait, this gives me an idea for a reality television show! Let's see, we could trap seven contestants inside the freezer at Chicken Delight…

No Souper Bowl For You - Yes indeed it's looking like No Super Bowl for the Carusos as they drop their 3rd straight and fall to 3 - 6, three games off the South Jersey division pace. However, had No Soup been in the Non Jersey division, where 4 teams are currently tied for first at 5 - 4, they'd still be in contention for at least a division title. Never one to pass up an opportunity, Guy has already informed the Commish's Office that he will be relocating the franchise to Washington DC next season, where the team will be known as The DC Comics and brother Joe will open up a restaurant called Art Monk's Diner.

Growing Up Goal Line - Fans attending this week's game at John Gotti Memorial Field will receive a coupon good for one free Roethlis Burger redeemable at all stadium concession stands. The Roethlis Burger is 100% pure Black Angus beef and replaces the previous sub-par FabBurger that had not been received well by the fans and was actually rumored to contain not pure beef, but rather something that tasted "a little leathery, like a horse's head or something"… In other team news, word has leaked out that a federal investigation has been launched to confirm allegations that team owner Fabrizio is hiding many members of the Witness Protection Program on his roster. Have you seen this team? Jones, Thomas, two guys named Smith, an Andersen…

Wardrobe Malfunction - On the heels of a four game winning streak, Jim "I'm Not That Murray Guy" Flinn moves into the lead in this season's Rookie of the Year race. Jim holds a two game edge over Don "The Bulldozer" Cardoza and a three game margin over Bruce "Wayne" Lerman and Russ "Special Delivery" Jones… The two Jakes, Plummer and Delhomme, continue to excel at QB for this team. So much so that original team owners Mike Flinn and Jim "Not Flinn" Murray have decided to add a few more Jakes to the squad. Signed to the Wardrobe Malfunction practice squad (Do you have to practice a wardrobe malfunction? Sounds like fun!) this week were former WWF star Jake The Snake Roberts, actor Jake Gyllenhaal, the lead singer from the band Less Than Jake, and that Body By Jake guy who may not make the team but could stay on as strength and conditioning coach.

The No Shows - Despite having 9 guys out of 12 score this week, actually make that 9 guys out 10 who were healthy and playing, the Shows lost a high scoring 76 - 58 shootout to The Commish and Crew. CEO Ian immediately looked to fire head coach Chris, who you could imagine wasn't feeling quite so Jolley after the loss. But before he could have his head handed to him, Chris got a brilliant idea and saved his job! Starting next fall on FOX, Ian will be starring in a reality television show. Yes folks, it's gonna be something along the lines of MTV's Real World meets The Apprentice as Ian will live for four months in an apartment with Donald Trump, Rebel Billionaire Richard Branson, Mark "The Benefactor" Cuban, The Simpsons' Montgomery Burns and that Big Fat Obnoxious Boss guy. The guys will sit around talking business and they'll pick the winners of each week's NFL games and the guy who picks the most games right each week gets to fire someone from his staff on national television. Great idea Chris, no let's just hope Ian wins this thing or you might be filling out an application to coach Neil's team…

That's all we've got time for this week, we'll see how the other half of the league is living in next week's column… 'til next week…