Ah, Week 10 in the NFL. What a week it was. The Pittsburgh Steelers and the Atlanta Falcons play to a 34 - 34 tie, the first tie in an NFL game since 1997. No truth however, to the rumor that Paul Tagliabue called the game because both teams were out of pitchers… The Rams are back in the playoff hunt, winning their 4th straight behind Marc Bulger's Crystals and his 450+ yard passing game. Tommy Maddox threw for 473 yards, bettering his previous high total of 412 yards in Week 2 of the XFL season against the Chicago Enforcers. I bet you didn't know we had a crack research staff here at The Commish's Office, did ya? OK, I'll give away my secret, XFLBoard.com, check it out for a little nostalgia some day. Say, anyone know a good USFL web site? The Colts' fourth string RB, James Mungro, scored twice and ran up over 100 yards, and he wasn't even dropped by Joe the week before! Candygram, for Mungro! And if you don't get that reference, get thee to a Blockbuster immediately! Blazing Saddles my friend, Mel Brooks is a god…

Bubba's Brew Crew remains atop the league standings with a 7 - 2 - 1 record after a 45 - 20 drubbing of Kang Kong. Neil's now 22 - 4 - 1 in his last 27 contests, yet still remains 7 games under .500 for his career. And for those of you already doing the math, let me help you out here. If The Crew wins their final seven games of the season, not only do they win the league in back-to-back seasons, but Mr. Eskow hits the .500 lifetime mark as well. At which point I think he turns the team over to Tucker and retires to his island hideaway in the South Caribbean with an occasional jaunt up North for an Atlantic City run… Kang Kong falls into 12th place with the loss, joining the throng of teams at 4 - 6. For owner Dave Kang, who's recently been atop the fantasy hockey league standings, it's looking like another season in which he'll be unable to match the glory of his rookie football season during which he won the league. Dave, Koreans may not know football, but they still know hockey…

Despite the absence of Cris Carter ("all he does is catch kidney infections!"), Austin Powers powered their way to their 5th straight win (and they had all their Saints this week), a 52 - 39 victory over the now 0 - 10 Late For The Draft. Can things get any worse for Late For The Draft? Sure, they could be 0 - 11! Seriously though, Chris "Not So" Jolley, in the spirit of Bengals coach Dick LeBeau, has guaranteed a victory this coming week against Kang Kong. "Oh sure!", says co-owner and general partner Ian Morris, "that's easy for him to say! How's about I guarantee that if we don't win, Chris gets shipped out of Redmond and finds himself manning the phones on the Lotus Notes help desk?"… And as for the weekly Notre Dame comment for my partner Mark? I refer you to the 1979 hit by The Village People that peaked at #3, "In The Navy"…

Cut The Cord snaps a five game slide with a 60 - 34 bashing of Douche's Wild. "Actually the Douche's were quite Mild this week", quips the man formerly known as the Staten Island Sniper. Which is actually quite a mild comment itself from the man who threatened to "open Rob's ass with a can opener" in the COMMISH.COM chat room this past week. A can opener? "Irv, cleanup in Aisle 5"! (Blockbuster, comedies, Mr. Mom starring Michael Keaton, and yes Mr. Machiedo, I know you knew that one!)

Remaining in the third spot this week it's The Bamrick Clan who improve their record to 7 and KGB III after a 64 - 24 buttering of the Wet Toast Offense. KGB also takes the high points dollar for the 3rd time this season. Three dollars in high points winnings? Hey, we're almost up to a whole diaper here! Speaking of, Pam how are you feeling these days? Hopefully a little better than the Legere clan of Brian and Sarah who run their record to 4 - 6 and join the mass of franchises currently sitting with a .400 winning percentage. Hey, Brian, it's OK to come out now, the Raiders beat Denver on Monday Night 34 - 10…

Also at 7 - 3 are The Moon Runners, current leaders of the Sharpe Division. Brian Boghosian and "Jesse" James Mack win their second in a row, a 39 - 28 victory over The fading Moops. At 5 - 4 - 1 and losers of three of their last four, the Brothers Caruso have lost their hold atop the Berman Division and are perilously close to joining the other 5 teams all bunched up at 4 - 6 in 9th through 13th places. With so many teams at 7 - 3 or 4 - 6 we might have to go to the BCS to get these standings straightened out. That's not BCS as in Bowl Championship Series, but rather BCS as in Because Commish Said So! Oh and The Moon Runners take home The Golden Cow for this season by beating their "M-O-O" rivals…

The Last Touch Don comes up with a 41 - 17 winner over Down Boy! as Fabrizio finally passes Chris "0 - 10" Jolley for the highest lifetime winning percentage among our Class of 1998 rookie owners. Obviously inspired by this week's episode of The Sopranos, Fab promises to give next week's opponent The Ralphie Cifaretto Treatment. Look for Brian Legere's head and hands in a bowling bag buried in The Commish's recently renovated backyard. Hey Fab, you know how to work one of those backhoes? The loss leaves Down Boy sitting at 5 - 5 (hey what's wrong with 4 - 6, not good enough for you?) and Charlie and Joe now hold only a slim 2 game lead over The Commish for lifetime games won (108 to 106). Then again, we won't mention the minor fact that they've played one whole less season now will we? And be sure to join us next week when we might unveil a new Down Boy logo…

And completing the collection at 4 - 6 are The Rising, 41 - 11 losers this past week at the hands of the River Ave Rats, who also clock in with the dreaded 4 - 6 record. Rumor has it, The Rising have not yet replaced Ike Hilliard (out for the season) because they're hoping to collect an all injured team by the end of the season so they can reclaim their record for lowest single game point total. Bobby Malure reasons: "There's not enough games left in the season to break Late For's losing streak, and who knows if they'll ever even win? However, if all our players get hurt and we replace Akers and Mare with Ali Haji Shiekh and Bjorn Nittmo in Week 16, the other record's ours! It's the best! We've got to have it! Hey Mike, pass me another O'Douls, will ya…" And don't worry Flinn, Fiedler's coming back soon! But you should've grabbed Maddox for Steel fan Jimbo Murray while you had the chance…

The Week 11 schedule goes a little something like this: The Moops (5 - 4 - 1) bring the (Ron) Dayne & (Reggie) Wayne show up against Cut The Cord in a battle of former Svenska co-workers. The Last Touch Don (5 - 4 - 1) "heads" out to face the Wet Toast Offense (4 - 6). The River Ave Rats (4 - 6) try to stop Austin Powers in Golden Domer (7 - 3). Douche's Wild (5 - 4 - 1) meet The Moon Runners (7 - 3). KGB III (7 - 3) take on The Rising (4 - 6). Bubba's Brew Crew (7 - 2 - 1) and Down Boy! (5 - 5) lock in and leave Tucker totally confused in the process and Kang Kong (4 - 6) tries to get some "money back" on the guarantee by Late For The Draft (0 - 10).

Now I know I've been hinting at it the whole column but have you noticed that the entire league, with the exception of Neil, Chuck/Joe and Ian/Chris, are at either 7 - 3, 5 - 4 - 1, or 4 - 6? This is incredible… Well that's about all I've got room for tonight. Got to eat some dinner now. Think I'll make a run to the border and get one of those new John Carney Asada Steak Tacos from Taco Bell! You know, the steak that's so good, it'll make you do the place-kicker switch out? OK, bad pun there but I'm running desperately short on material in this closing paragraph and that stupid commercial where the dorky guy tries to impress the two chicks with Taco Bell on a plate just came on TV and, voila!, a moment of inspiration! And enough words to get to the end of this column gracefully I might add… 'til next week…