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What is it about Week 13's that always results in high scoring Rowdy Friends matchups? After prolific 82 and a 79 point outbursts by Austin Powers and Douche's Wild, 5 of the top 10 all time single game scores in Rowdy Friends history have all occurred in Week 13 of the season in which they were set! As well as 6 of the top 10 two-team combined score records! Definitely something magical about Week 13… And there's definitely something magical about Michael Vick, whose NFL QB rushing record 173 yards and OT run gave the Falcons another Vick-tory. The Panthers finally win a game, only this time, they've got that old Celtics point guard Dee Brown filling in at running back. The Packers clinch the NFC North ("NFC North", that just doesn't sound right!), the Saints beat the Bucs to keep the NFC South race tight. The Rams lose and we learn the Kurt Warner now has a broken hand (can you say "Faustian bargain"?) and Tim Brown gets his 1,000th career reception, joining teammate Jerry Rice and Cris "All he does is get kidney infections" Carter as the 3rd member of the 1,000 catch club (hey aren't Wilt Chamberlain and Gene Simmons in that club also? Oops, wrong "1,000 catches", eh? Anyway, on to the Rowdy Recaps… … "dashing through the snow, in a one-back open sleigh, down the field we go, scoring with Rick-ay"… Two Rickey Williams bonus runs of 45+ yards, a 3-TD performance by Garrison Hearst and Austin Powers in Golden Domer is an 82 - 62 winner over Kang Kong in a game that broke many existing league records! First off, a 3-TD game by Ladainian Tomlinson and over 20 points from his kickers would normally be enough to allow Dave Kang to win by quite a comfortable margin. But not in wacky Week 13! Instead, The Commish and Mark come up with the 5th highest single game score in league history and poor Dave's left with the new league record for the highest single game losing score, the previous record (and at least the next five after that) was held by one of those old Kenny Bamrick teams who used to routinely lose with scores in the 60's (like 1998's KGB III who lost with 61 and 1994's Blood Sweat and Beers who lost while scoring 60), bringing back memories of the old Air Coryell Charger teams of the 80's. Actually I think one of Brian Legere's old D.U.D teams might have dropped a 62 point game a few years back, I'll have to look it up… The 144 combined points by both teams is also a single game record, eclipsing the previous record of 138 set in Week 13 of 1998 by Ian's Late For Buffett (77 points, which would be a good month for this year's Late For franchise) and, yep you guessed it, KGB III's 61 aforementioned points. Dave, sorry for the beating, please don't take it personally (because we all know I would've beat Kevin Kelly a whole lot worse!) By the way, the 82 points for the Golden Domers was about 5 times as many points as the real Golden Domers put up in a very lackluster performance against USC and that Carson Daly guy they've got at QB… Now that wasn't the only crazy game this past week. Behind the 21 point performance of Drew Bledsoe ("throwing through the snow, in a wide open game, pass to Peerless Price, sprinting all the way…") and the 6 FG, 22 point effort from new Steeler kicker, Jeff "The Mop Boy" Reed, Rob Hanratty's Douche's Wild destroyed the River Ave Rats, 79 - 32. Only a 14 point Monday night from Sebastian "I Want A New Drug" Janikowski, kept Mike Flinn and Jimmy Murray out of the record books for the most lopsided loss in Rowdy history… Despite losing the high points dollar, Rob enter's the league record books with the 7th highest all time score but narrowly misses breaking his own franchise single game scoring record of 84, set back in Week 13 of 1998 when his team was know as the Clinton-inspired "Stinky Stogie"… So while all this is going on, Neil Eskow and Bubba's Brew Crew are almost getting upset by the hapless Late For The Draft. Neil escaped "in the Vick of time", as a bonus OT TD run by the Atlanta QB (and tying Bledsoe's 21 points), allowed The Crew to narrowly escape with a 44 - 41 win over Ian and Chris, and remain in first place. The win makes Neil our first 10 game winner this season, runs his record over the past two seasons to 25 - 4 - 1 and puts him only a mere 4 game winning streak away from finally reaching the career .500 winning percentage. Now if this isn't enough to jinx him out of first place, I'm all out of options! Anyone else care to try to top this man from winning this season and completing the first ever Rowdy Repeat? Not to be outdone, then 2nd place KGB III, while they didn't score 60 and lose, did manage to put up a 36 - 22 win over Cut The Cord, despite not being able to replace RB Lamar Smith, who was cut by the Panthers after coming out on the wrong side of a Breathalyzer test after a DUI check on Thursday (the day after transactions are due in!)… Need we say anymore about Cut The Cord? Kevin, I think it might be time to "cut the season" because at 5 - 8, tied with the Malures, the Wet Toast, the Rats and the Big Korean Gorilla, it ain't looking too good from here on out… Sitting in 2nd place behind Neil in the Mortensen (a.k.a. North Jersey) Division, Kenny's claiming he'll catch Neil by the final two position weeks, setting us up for another possible multi-week battle that KGB's reserved for arch-rival Mike Flinn in recent seasons… The Moon Runners now also join KGB III and Austin Powers, all a game and a half back of The Brew Crew, after they defeated the soggy Wet Toast Offense by an identical score of 36 - 22 giving Boghosian "Brian bragging rights" Brother Legere for the remainder of the season. While we're here, let me just say so much for Brian Legere's "have a baby, win the league" theory as both new league parents, Mike Flinn and Kevin Kelly, are mired at 5 - 8 with no shot at the league title. However, Pam Bamrick is pregnant and technically she is due this season (right around Super Bowl Sunday, anyone care to start one of those box pools at $10 a square?), and KGB's right in the thick of things so perhaps Brian's theory will be saved after all? And hey, was that Brian Boghosian I saw on the back of a milk carton last week? Where is this man? No transactions all season and no functioning e-mail address? Bri are you mad at us for something? Was it something I said? I hope all's well and you're winning a whole lot of money on the semi-pro bowling circuit right now, please give us a shout and let us know how you're doing… In the interest of saving space, let me just quickly tell you that The Moops defeated Down Boy 42 - 32 and The Last Touch Don says "analyze that" to The Rising, winning 38 - 28 behind another two TD defensive performance by the Ravens Ray Lewis-less "D". Both winners move to 7 - 5 - 1 and I promise "double the press" for all four of you (or would that be all seven since we've got 3 teams with two owners involved here?) next week… Week 14 match-ups are a repeat of Week 3's and for those of you with short memories, I've got to say "go to the league schedule page on the web site" because we're running really short on both time and space here since I hyped up my own team's record breaking performance earlier using way too many sentences… A belated Happy Hannukah to all league owners of Jewish faith! Sorry, I should've been all over that last week, with The Festival of Lights starting 5 days ago, but it really snuck up on me this year! See, that's what I get for moving out of predominantly Jewish Fair Lawn and into the Gentile Hinterlands of Morris County! No, not Ian Morris County, man that would be scary… Anyway, as Michelle Branch sings in her latest hit "Goodbye To You" (believe me, the 80's song of the same name by Scandal's a lot better!), and I'll see you all next Wednesday night. 'til next week…
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