So it all comes down to this? After 16 weeks of football, we've got three teams left fighting it out for the Rowdy Friends title, even after our good friend Neil threatened to run away with this thing in the middle of the season. So tell us Mr. Commish, how do things stand? Well here's the story, morning glory. Last week's games, this week's matchups, how we got here and where we're going…

Since back-to-back 85 point games in Weeks 12 and 13, Sucks 2 B Me is just 1 - 2, and let me tell you it just might suck to be Neil this week! After dropping a 48 - 39 decision at the hands of the Two and a Half Men (and would that be a total of 6 hands or 5?), Neil runs the risk of losing the top spot he's held on to since the weeks were in the single digits. And as for the Malures (you guys still owe me $20 apiece for the Grinch SI Cover by the way!), how can you not root for these guys? Long the denizens of the league's low rent district, these guys had an extended lease on the league cellar, but then along came Nick and now they're just one win away from winning the Rowdy for the first time. Neil, despite all the recent success, is looking for his first title since 2001. So then that means that these two guys play again this week for the title, right? Well…

Not so fast! The Flinn/Jim/(Rookie of the Year)Jim clan, winners of 9 of their last 11, have staked their claim to the title as well. Man could this really be as confusing as the BCS? We've got USC (Sucks 2 B Me, hey it rhymes!), Oklahoma (Two and a Half Men) and now Auburn (Wardrobe Malfunction) and there's only room for two teams on the field at the same time in one game. A Monday Night Miracle 44 - 42 victory over division rivals Got MiLK, courtesy of a Stephen Jackson TD run when the guy hadn't had a carry in the two previous weeks, has given the Wardrobe the same record as the 6 (or is that 5) handed team currently in 2nd place. Well despite this same record the BCS computers, (and that's BCS, as in "Because the Commish Said so") on the basis of overall points scored, have left Wardrobe Malfunction out of the title game mix as they play fourth place Growing Up Goal Line in the Belmont Park Horses Head Bowl. But that doesn't mean they don't have a puncher's chance. A win by Team Flinn, coupled with a Sucks 2 B Me loss, and a team score that's at least 21 points higher than the Two and a Halfers and it's #3 going three wide at the finish line and stealing the title, which would be their first since Ray Lewis ran a certain Limo Service back in Y2K!

Looking to put a monkey wrench in everyone's plans is Fab, who's just Gotti, er, I mean "got to", win this game if he wants to finish in the Final Four himself, which would be a franchise best. A 45 - 35 win last week over arch-rival Genco Olive Oil, in what I believe was the 18th game these two teams have played this season, clinched the Non Jersey division for the native New Yorker. And for Genco, we have some parting gifts, an 8 - 8 record has them playing in the 7 versus 8 game against those crazy boys from the Pacific Northwest, The No Shows, who themselves dropped a 48 - 28 game to Franks and Beans. And a quick league rule clarification here. Should Ian and Chris no-show the No-Shows for this week's seemingly meaningless game then Genco must score at least a point from a running back not named Priest Holmes before they can claim victory…

Also on the outside looking in are two teams going in opposite directions but both with a shot at 4th place should Fabrizio go schizo. Got MiLK, who (get this) have won every odd numbered week since Week 7 and lost on every even numbered week since then, hope the math turns out right when they face the hard charging Best One, winners of 6 of their last 7 and averaging 53 points a game in that span, including last week's high points dollar winning 69 - 14 demolition of the He-Man Cowboy Haters Club. Now normally I might say that Russ is rolling like a tsunami, but some might view that as being in bad taste. Kevin Kelly of course, probably doesn't think it's tasteless enough, and might want me to say all that and also mention the fact that Best One is as hot as a cup of Sumatran coffee but let's just pretend we didn't go there, OK?…

Oh how the mighty have fallen! No I'm not talking about islands in the Indian Ocean, I'm talking about our defending champions. Amidst chants of "Joe Must Go!" (from his co-owner Charlie by the way, not the fans), the defending chumps Franks & Beans lost to The No Shows and now need to win the 9 versus 10 game against No Souper Bowl For You to finish the season at .500. But not to worry C&J for your career victories record (currently at 130 wins apiece), regardless of the outcome of this week's game, will be good enough to hold up through the off-season. On a related note, both Kevin Kelly and Pam Bamrick each have 99 career Rowdy Friends victories going into this week and a win by each would make them the 9th and 10th members of the Rowdy Century Club, which of course maintains separate membership from the Rowdy Friends Mile High Club At Invesco Field… As for The Soup, they've finally found a running back in KC's Larry "Diaper Boy" Johnson, who's scored seven TDs in the three weeks he's played, and have won 4 of 6 after a 5 game losing streak to salvage what could've been an even more disastrous season and from what I read on the Internet, they've already got a few appetizing surprises cooked up for next season!

At 11 versus 12 we've got two teams with nothing on the line but pride. Charlie Pride? Curtis Pride? Perhaps Father of the Pride? Anyway, Rob's Titties and Beer, losers of 5 straight (including a 29 - 27 loss to KGB III this past week) and six of their last seven dating back to Week 10, will play out the g-string against Don's He-Man Cowboy Haters Club, who after a promising 4 - 2 start are just 1 - 8 - 1 in their last 10. It's only fair to say that Don obviously hit the Rookie Wall at game 8, as before this season, he only played in half-season fantasy leagues. You think? Anyway, there's always next year for both these guys and next year it'll have to be as there's no hockey for these two vets of the Slap Shot Fantasy Hockey League to look forward to after the football's all played out. Well Don, guess that means you can get an early start on getting the clubhouse all set up for the baseball draft then…

And finally, last and most certainly least, we've got the Battle for the Basement, The Push for Better Placement and the Avoidance of Disgracement! (Sorry, I didn't realize how well I was in touch with my inner Clyde Frazier). It'll be the Dead Fish, winners this past week 43 - 35 over No Soup) against KGB III, with the loser getting the keys to the league's posh basement apartment and a lease lasting the whole off-season. But that's not all! Tell them what else they've won Johnny! Why they get the $1 prize for finishing in last, a year's supply of Turtle Wax (the new car finish and the official bald head wax of The Commish and the Rowdy Friends Fantasy Football League). We've also got great parting gifts like Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco 49ers treat and both team will take home a copy of Rowdy Friends - The Home Game… Surprisingly both teams are riding season high winning streaks into this game! For the Fish, it's one in a row after last week's mini-upset of Larry Johnson's Soup Kitchen. As for KGB, they're on a two-game tear and have you heard that they kicked Neil's butt two weeks ago in an upset bigger than Ken's ego? No? Well I'm sure I wrote about it…

So there it is, place your bets and spin the wheel! Good luck to everyone in the final week of the season. And a Happy New Year to all as well! Which begs the following questions. Who's older? Vinny Testaverde or Dick Clark? And should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Well not if those old acquaintances are Rowdy Friends! 'til next week, when we'll crown a champion and give out the awards…