Before we begin this week's column allow me to apologize for getting this week's stats up a little later than usual. I must confess, I shirked my "commisionary duties" (as Kevin Kelly likes to call them) on Wednesday night by going to a Rush concert instead of compiling the stats. Yes, Rush, the progressive rock band who sang that song "Tom Sawyer" way back in the day? "Modern day warrior, mean, mean stride. Today's Tom Sawyer mean, mean pride"? I'm sure there's a good joke here involving goon Kevin Sawyer, isn't there? "An-a-heim Might-y Duck, mean, mean guy. Kevin Sawyer, stick in your eye"? Ok, that needs some work, perhaps in another column…

Then on Thursday night I went out to see a band called The Fountains Of Wayne, yes they're named after the store on Route 46 in case you were wondering. Kind of a pop-rock band, think Blink-182 without the edge. They don't sing anything you'd know, unless you're my brother Brian, who knows all of their stuff. Actually, he's the reason the stats are late tonight. There, I managed to wrap that up quite nicely didn't I?

So do I qualify for the John Buccigross Award for devoting the first two paragraphs of this column to music when we're supposed to be discussing hockey? "What Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson are to Rush, Dany Heatley and Ilya Kovalchuk are to the Thrashers." There, that's better…

Using my best CSI-like investigative techniques it's now looking like that inter-dimensional opening we've been discussing these past few weeks has shifted from Tampa Bay to St. Louis, where the Blues are now sitting pretty with a 9-1-1 record (notice how I've omitted the fourth number, overtime losses, I hate that stat!). Freddie Brathwaite is back in net and has won his last four starts leaving Jason Vorhees toiling in the nets for the Worcester Ice Cats of the AHL (see last week's column for details). Gee, Freddie beats Jason once again…

Also eclipsing Tampa Bay in this Twilight Zone-esque start to the NHL season are the Minnesota Wild, who've jumped out to a surprising 9-2-2 start. Besides the masterful crease defending play of Manny Fernandez, they've also got Marian Gaborik carrying the offensive load. Guess you could say the 2nd year players has "made" it in the NHL, can't we? Now that would make him Made Marian wouldn't it? Now let's discuss the two hottest Wild defensemen, Robin Hood and Friar Tuck…

From the "fun with NHL transactions" department comes the following. The Nashville Predators (denizens of the Gaylord Entertainment Center) on Saturday called up center Vernon Fiddler from the minors. Are you telling me that with all the bluegrass and country music available in Nashville they had to go all the way to the minors to get a Fiddler? What, Charlie Daniels' wasn't available? And if you expect me to do some kind of "Fiddler On The Roof" joke here next, you're sadly mistaken. Fiddle or no fiddle, there's just no way I'm going up on the roof of a building with the words "gaylord" and "entertainment" in it's name…

Congratulations to the newest members of the NHL Hall of Fame. Clark Gillies finally joins the rest of his Islander multi-Cup winning teammates in the Hall. Let's have a big "very nice" for Gillies, the muscle behind Trottier, Bossy and Potvin. Some guy named Bernie Federko who used to play for the Blues is also in the Hall. I'm looking for Foil Up Walt for some details on Bernie's career if he's got any. The Last of The Un-Helmeted, Rod Langway, enters the Hall as a Washington Capital and head coach Roger Neilson, the man who made it fashionable to stand behind the bench with a perm and a bright tie gets enshrined as well.

Now a quick paragraph on a couple of guys with Hartford Whaler connections. Long time Whaler and until recently Columbus Blue Jacket, Kevin Dineen is finally hanging up his skates after a long 18 years in the business. Good luck to you in your retirement Kevin, all of us Connecticut boys recall the mayhem you caused in The Mall back in the days of Whaler semi-greatness… Former Whaler minor league and now Carolina Hurricane forward Bates Battaglia has appeared amongst the league leaders in penalty minutes. Only question I've got here is when Mr. Battaglia goes across The Pond to England is he addressed as Master Bates Battaglia?

And finally, the following comes to us from ESPN.COM. Apparently a father is suing his a hockey league because his son was not named the league's most valuable player! Here's the pertinent sections from the article, I think they stand on their own comedic merit without any further comment necessary by me…

A Canadian father is suing the New Brunswick Amateur Hockey Association after his 16-year-old son failed to win the league's most valuable player award. Michael Croteau is seeking about $200,000 in psychological and punitive damages from the association. He also demands that the MVP trophy be taken from the winner and given to his son, Steven. He said the youth was so crushed when another player won the award at a banquet in March that he lost his desire to play. Steven had a league-leading 45 goals and 42 assists in 27 games, while the boy named most valuable player finished fourth in league scoring with 21 goals and 39 assists. "How do you justify that?'' Croteau said in the Globe and Mail. "It's quite obvious he's the most valuable forward in the league.'' Brian Whitehead, the New Brunswick Amateur Hockey Association executive director, confirmed the lawsuit was filed but declined to discuss details.

Ah, can't be long now because those four horsemen mentioned in the Book of Revelation come riding out over the plains, can it? In other "Hell must've frozen over (so somebody get Miroslav Satan a jacket)" type news, Stick It Up Your Ice takes over first place from The Koreans this week, so congratulations to me and Kevin! Well that's all I've got time for this week. Anyone know any good concerts in the area next Wednesday and Thursday night? 'til next week…