As I sit here writing this week's column it's begun snowing outside my office. The excitement of the first snow of the season has me thinking about abandoning my current efforts, donning some gloves (mittens, not hockey gloves! I said "donning", not "dropping") and going out and building a snowman! Or perhaps better yet, since I'm already writing a hockey column and we've alluded to "dropped gloves", why don't I go out and build a snow-goon? Sure! He can have a corn cob pipe, a broken nose and two black eyes made out of coal! Of course, he'd also have to have two hockey gloves "dropped" at his side and I'd have to pull a jersey over his head, but I think I can do it! OK, here goes…

Frosty the snow-goon, had Jody Shelley's "happy" soul
With a corn cob pipe and a broken nose and two black eyes made out of coal
Down to the blue line, with a curved stick in his hand
Waving it here and there like Laperriere
Saying, "Fight me if you can!"

Then again, it's mighty cold outside, so perhaps instead of pursuing the building of the snow-goon, I'll just stay in here where it's warm and write one of my famous song parodies, what do you think? OK fire up The Commish's Office karaoke machine, grab Mr. Microphone, and sing along with me to the tune of "Winter Wonderland". And a-one, and a-two…

Hey Brashear, are you listenin'?
That's your team-mate we're dissin'
A beautiful sight, a "very nice" fight
Gooning in a winter wonderland

Gone's Probert, to announcing
But Rob Ray, he's still pouncing
Instead of singing this song, why can't we all get along?
Gooning in a winter wonderland

In the sin bin we can build a snowman
And pretend that he is like Sean Brown
He'll say "Wanna fight?", and we'll say "Go man!"
Then we'll drop the gloves and spin around

Barnaby will conspire
To behead Gordie Dwyer
Then Krzysztof Oliwa, will be coming for ya
Gooning in a winter wonderland

Yes folks, can you tell the hour is late here at The Commish's Office? In fact, I'm so tired, I think I'm starting to hallucinate! Why I swear I just saw The Ghost of New Jersey Devils Power Plays Past drift by. Well if I'm to prove I did indeed see this Dickensian wraith, I suppose he'll soon be followed up by a sighting of The Ghost of New Jersey Devils Power Plays Present and Future, no? What's that you say? The New Jersey Devils power play has no present or future? Well, I fear you may in fact be right…2

And finally, before I leave you for some hot coffee and a warm bed (where, based on my latest ramblings about goons, visions of sugar plums will probably beat me upside the head), a little ditty about Byron Dafoe, who despite losing his Thrashers debut, 3 - 2 to Les Habitants, has given hope to both of the victory-starved hockey fans in Atlanta. Once again, let's turn on the karaoke machine and sing along with me in your best Charlie Daniels voice, to the tune of "The Devil Went Down To Georgia"…

Byron went down to Georgia, he was looking for a job to steal
He was in a bind, bills were way behind, and he needed to sign a deal
So he comes across this Thrasher team, their goaltending's not so hot
Has his agent call their GM, saying "Boys, let me tell you what"

Now Milan Hlinicka and Nurminen are "poo"!
So if you care to take a dare, Byron will sign with you
Now you've got two pretty young goalies there, but give my client his due
I'll bet a bucket of gold, that you'll be sold, he can steal you a game or two

Fire on Stone Mountain, run foes run
Atlanta Thrasher defense, not much fun
Lots of biscuits in the basket, woe, woe, woe
Don't worry no more fans, here's Dafoe!

… and then the fiddle solo kicks in, yada, yada, yada… Sorry that one was a little short, perhaps I'll work on the "12 inch extended dance mix" for a later column. Well, that's about all I've got time and space for this week. Happy Thanksgiving to any brave souls who have found time to read this before Thursday and if it's already past Turkey Day by the time you get around to reading this, well then I hope you survived the ordeal! 'til next week…

Click here for "back issues" of News & Notes From The Commish's Office...