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What else could we possibly write about this week besides the Ottawa Senators and the fact that they failed to pay their players last week? And the players actually kept playing too! And winning! Now this must be a Canadian thing because how many American Senators do you know who would work for free?
So while wondering whether or not there's something in President Bush's economic stimulus package that might help this financially struggling franchise, I sat down to write about the Dire Straits that the Senators find themselves in. So, fire up the karaoke machine once again, grab your Mr. Microphones and sign along with The Commish to the tune of "Money For Nothing"…
Big Ottawa yo-yo's, that's not the way you do it
Not paying players on your team
They're hard workin', that's just not the way to do it
Money for nothing, make them play for free
Just keep 'em working, that's not the way to do it
Let me tell you, these guys must be dumb
What if they get a blister on their little finger?
What if they get a blister on their thumb?
{Commish's mid-song note and singing tip: This is the part that goes "we've got to install microwave ovens…"}
No paycheck for Marian Hossa
Or even Patrick Lalime
Spent too much on protective netting
Are they still paying Yashin?
So where's the guy who's handing out the paychecks?
Hey Bettman, this just ain't fair!
I hear the owner's got his own jet airplane
I thought Rod Bryden was a millionaire?
No paycheck for Curtis Leschyshyn
Or even Petr Schastlivy
Spent too much, signing Wade Redden
Now the owner can no longer pay me
I shoulda learned to play the guitar
I shoulda learned to play the drums
Instead now mama, I've got to put free biscuits in the basket
Man, we could have had fun!
And who's up there? What's that? Is that Barry Melrose?
Talking on ESPN 'bout us playing for free
Now that ain't working, that's the way you do it
Money for nothing, and a speaking fee
No paycheck for Daniel Alfredsson
Or even Shane Hnidy
Paying too much in Canadian taxes
Now got to declare bankruptcy
Oh, this ain't working, this ain't the way to do it
Money for nothing and the team plays free
Money for nothing and they'll still win the next three
I want my, I want my, I want my 50 g's
I want my, I want my, I want my 50 g's…
Man I sure hope Mark Knopfler's a hockey fan! Well that's about all I've got space for this week. Tune in next week and we'll talk about Trader Neil's restructuring of his team with two separate trades this past week involving 5 players. And don't look now, but I think he's gooning up again! I don't know what's more dangerous, North Korea restarting their nuclear program or Neil trading for penalty minutes?
Anyway, a belated Happy New Year to everyone and I hope at least one you still has their New Year's resolutions intact after a week. I already blew mine, I promised to not trade Eddie Belfour and write Dire Straits song parodies in the same week. Oh well, easy (Eddie) come, easy (Eddie) go… 'til next week…
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