Sorry for the delay in getting this week's column up but I just finished in experiment in pain thresholds. No, I didn't tell Donald Brashear I voted for him to go in NHL Survivor last week, but close. You see, it's late Thursday night and I just got in from having to shovel my driveway and the mercury is in the single digits with a wind chill almost as low Dick Tarnstrom's plus/minus rating (yes, feel free to step away so you can look that up). Baby, it's cold outside! I now think I now understand how Canadiens net minder Jose Theodore (still alive on in the Survivor game I might add) felt standing in the crease outside in the Edmonton cold at The Heritage Classic. Now if I'd only worn my goalie mask along with my tuque while I was shoveling, I might not be so cold right now…

Speaking of cold, how quickly did we all jump on Mark Messier in last week's NHL Survivor vote? They always vote the old guys off first in these shows, don't they? Anyway, sorry Mark, the tribe has spoken, please extinguish your flaming hockey stick and exit the Hartford Civic Center. Use the exit on the Asylum Street side, turn left and head for the bars. I think you've got some buddies down there waiting for you. Guys by the names of Nick Fotiu and Don Cardoza… Well we're down to 11 players left and already the factions are starting to form! These week we're going to evict someone from the Westers tribe while we let the Easters continue to wheel and deal amongst themselves. I hear that Scott Stevens and Michael Peca aren't getting along and both of them are angling for the votes of The Goon Squad (Domi and Brashear) in next week's Easters vote! Stay tuned next week for more Survivor from The Mall in Hartford, Connecticut. And yes, I do realize that the Civic Center isn't truly unoccupied as the Rangers AHL entry, the Hartford Wolfpack play there. Just wait and see what happens to our tribesmen when those guys show up with their new Norelco razors!

So what in the name of the Lifetime Channel is going on amongst our local hockey teams this season? I mean we're talking a bonafide love triangle here. Each of these teams absolutely dominates one of the other teams in this trio thus far this season. The Rangers love playing the Islanders, who in turn own the Devils, who haven't lost to the Rangers yet. So if you're keeping score at home that's Rangers own the Isles who own the Devils who own the Rangers, got it? And when does this love triangle end I ask you? Well most likely the way all these sordid love affairs do, on Cinemax on a Friday night after midnight. No seriously, I just hope this thing doesn't get out of hand and late in the season I find myself reading about how Martin Brodeur slept with Rick DiPietro's sister-in-law or something. Hey by the way, has anyone seen Messier since the torch ceremony?…

Remember the game show The Price Is Right where you had to guess the cash value of the Showcase without going over the actual total? Good. Well here's a game for you kind of like that. Without looking at the team stats, who can come the closest to naming the total number of defensemen that Walt Cherniak (Foil Up Coach) has employed thus far this season? And you can't go over! The winner gets a ticket to the next Hartford Wolfpack game and a new Norelco razor, "goo" included (you've all seen that commercial right?)

Injecting a little politics into the column, I have to ask; why is Paul O'Neill so bitter? Didn't he have a good career with the Yankees? Does he really have to come down this hard on President Bush? I know Bush owned the Rangers back in O'Neill's playing days, but the Yanks owned them back then? What's his beef? I don't get it… And finally, as the feeling of warmth starts to return to my fingers from all this typing, I leave you with a hockey joke, sent to me a few weeks back by one of you, can't recall whom (please remind me), that goes something like this:

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a park in Toronto, when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Leafs Fan Save Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Leafs fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in Toronto, I just assumed you were" said the reporter and starts again. "Little Jays Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Jays fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in Toronto was either a Leafs or Jays fan. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Montreal Canadiens fan." the child said. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little French Bastard from Montreal Kills Beloved Family Pet."

So I ask you; actually just you Ronnie D from The Phantoms, when are us French guys gonna start feeling the love from everyone again? Oh well, as they say, c'est la vie, n'est ce pas? Don't forget, we're voting off our first Wester this week in NHL Survivor, so be sure to cast your vote(s)! 'til next week…