Well it's been quite a slow week, no new bankruptcy filings, no new coaching changes, nothing good to write a song about… So let's just rap for a few paragraphs and call it a week…

How come all the "news of the weird" in the NHL seems to happen in Calgary this season? First we had the naked guy climbing wearing just a pair of red socks come over the glass, fall on the ice and get knocked cold. Now, we've got Edmonton coach Craig MacTavish beating up the Flames mascot! Yes, MacTavish was not too thrilled with the fact that Harvey The Hound was hanging over the glass behind the Oiler bench and taunting the visiting team so he just reached back, grabbed a hold of Harvey's big long red tongue and proceeded to, if I may quote the rocker Meatloaf, "take the words right out of his mouth"! Not only did he rip the foot long (and then some!) tongue out of the mascot's costume, he also threw the tongue into the crowd (and you thought Score-O was fun!) and then threatened to beat Harvey upside the head with a hockey stick!

Come on guys, can't we all just get along? Speaking of beating up team mascots, how about Theo Fleury, going on a drunken binge in an Ohio strip club and now facing a possible season long suspension for his indiscretions? Sorry, Theo, but the San Jose shark has a big "ha ha!" for ya. As for poor old Harvey The Hound, we're still waiting for a post-game comment. I think some guy named Billy Katt walked off with his tongue after MacTavish hurled it into the stands. What's the matter Harvey? Katt got your tongue? And before I go, my comic sense is telling me there needs to be a joke hear comparing streakers with red socks to mascots with red tongues but perhaps Shakespeare had it write when he wrote that discretion is the better part of valor…

Claude Lemieux becomes the latest Devils alumunus to join the Stars roster as Dallas acquires the Feisty One for the second half of the season and Claude joins former Devs Kirk Muller, Billy Guerin and Jason Arnott. So with all this being said has Patty Verbeek come out of retirement yet? Is Don Lever available? Perhaps Mel Bridgeman can still play some Big D(efense) in Big D? By the way, Claude was acquired from Phoenix for yet another Devil-turned-Dallas Star, Scott Pellerin…

Finally, keeping things short this week, well keeping most things short with the exception of that foot-long tongue… So this woman walks into a deli and asks the butcher to give her a pound of tongue… Oh never mind, George Carlin flashback! Late word from Calgary has the Flames braintrust (oxymoron alert!) replacing Harvey The Hound with Harvey Keitel! Man the Saddle Dome has just gone to the dogs, hasn't it? Better make that "gone to the Resevoir Dogs"… So when does Edmonton come back to town?

Well I'm running a little late tonight so let's just end this column before I'm able to come up with a Quentin Tarantino Top 10 list (and don't think for a minute I'm not thinking about it!). Good night, drive home safely, and don't forget to tip your goal judges… 'til next week…