"Ta-rah-rah-boom-dee-aye! Fired their coach today. Always the Ranger way! So long to Trottier!"… Or perhaps something a little more catchy like "Na na na na, Trot-te-aye, good-bye!"… Yes there is some joy in Mudville tonight as the hapless denizens of the world's most famous arena have fired head coach Bryan Trottier. Two straight losses to the lowly Atlanta Thrashers, a 7 - 2 defeat to the Capitals and sole possession of last place in the Atlantic, all contributed to Trots' first season as a head coach coming to a screeching halt after just 54 games. But don't worry Bryan, we've got some departing gifts for you. Johnny, tell him what's he won! Bryan, you're not going home empty handed, you can choose from fabulous gifts like Rice-A-Roni (the San Francisco Treat), Turtle Wax (for that new car finish and the shine on Mark Messier's head!), Lay-Z-Boy recliners (for defensemen like Mr. Kaparaitis who just like to "kick back" in the neutral zone, or a copy of Head Coaching Shuffle, the Home Game, where you try to match wits with the likes of Darryl Sutter and Bob Hartley while trying to regain a head coaching position. Hey, I hear the Detroit Lions are looking…

Nice segue into football for a quick note on the Super Bowl… No wait, my brother Brian's forbidden me to talk about it other than the fact that when the Tampa Bay cornerback ran that interception back for a score with two seconds left, Brian and I were sitting on the Tampa 7 - Oakland 1 box and looking at 7 G's cold if the extra point went awry. Of course, the living room of my parent's house then turned into the final golf scene from Caddyshack as cries of "Noonan!" and "Miss it!" reverberated off the walls when Martin Gramatica came on the field. Of course, Gramatica's more accurate with extra points then Ivory Soap is pure (99.5 to 99.44%) so the ball sailed through the uprights and someone else took home our money… Oh well, easy come easy go… And did anyone catch the new Jimmy Kimmel talk show afterwards? They've got an open bar set up for the studio audience! Nice idea! All the beer and wine you can drink? Hey Bob? I think we can throw away the laugh track…

And segueing back into hockey (watch me work literary wonders!), one of the writers on the Jimmy Kimmel Show is none other than Adam Carolla, the other guy who hosted that cheesy TV Show, The Man Show, with Kimmel back in the day. Well here's Adam's take on the whole "goalie with the water bottle on top of the net" thing, as originally written by ESPN.COM's Bill Simmons, a.k.a. The Boston Sports Guy, who not so coincidentally is also a writer for the Jimmy Kimmel Show. Carolla opines:

"I don't like the hockey goalies who keep these water bottles on top of the net. Takes away from the game. First off, this doesn't exist in any other sport, where you get to hit the field with a beverage. People argue that you could become dehydrated, but when's the last time you became dehydrated standing motionless on a block of ice? It also opens the door to guys bringing snacks out there, that's next. They'll be bringing Chex Mix out there, or trail mix ... you could open a Pandora's Box. And does anyone ever test that water for steroids or amphetimines?"

Can you see it? Shea Hillenbrand bringing out a cold Sam Adams long neck and placing it down behind the third base bag at Fenway? Or maybe Martin Gramatica coming unto the field for that extra point try with a nice dry martini? Hey, then maybe he would've missed that kick and I'd be rich! Oh well, good stuff from The Man Show alumunus…

Kyle McLaren has finally ended his hold out after being traded to the San Jose Sharks in a three team deal. The Canadiens sent goalie Jeff Hackett to the Bruins and got back Nicklas Sundstrom from the Sharks and defensemen Jeff Jillson also goes from the Sharks to the Bruins to complete the deal. And somewhere in there I just know Trader Neil is looking for a way to trade me back Eddie Belfour! Ah, the anatomy of the deal. Belfour, his bad back and Chris Drury for Billy Guerin and new Bruins starter Jeff Hackett (who shut out the Flyers in his first start I might add!)! What a deal! Even better than Chelios for Featherstone! Sorry Neil, couldn't resist! You want Marty Turco? I hear Joe Thornton's healthy…

Actually if anyone does want Marty Turco, make me an offer! I'm not looking for anything in particular, but if a guy like say, Markus Naslund, should suddenly become available (hint hint)? As they say, operators are standing by… The Fargain Hansons finally loose their stranglehold on first place as Stick It Up Your Ice has pulled into a tie, at least for this week. The Koreans are not far behind and I think Dave's threatening to re-start his weapons program (i.e. unreserve Joe Sakic) unless we give him food! Quick, somebody call Oddfellow's and get the man a couple of Big Easy Burgers…

And finally, don't forget to watch the All Star Game this Sunday, featuring the return of the East versus West format! Hey, kind of like Rocky IV, isn't it? No more USA versus the World, that kind of stuff has no place in the NHL. CNN's got the rights to that one for now! Ladies and gentlemen, starting for the World Team, the Axis Of Evil Line, featuring Saddam Hussein at left wing, Osama Bin Laden at center and Kim Jong Il on the right wing… Your starting goalie for the USA squad is Dubya Bush (somebody check his water bottle!) who's shown the ability to deflect all kinds of shots the first half of the season… And how's about this for a way to improve the economy? Let's have the Treasury department print up a whole ton of cash and then lay a bet on the All Star Game? I'm thinking "take the over" and nobody let Martha Stewart in on our little financial idea, OK? If we win, we buy the Buffalo Sabres and the Ottawa Senators and move them to Las Vegas and the Yukon Territories? What do you think? 'til next week…