Some random thoughts that I've had over the past week, in no particular order, as I write gently into thy sweet Thursday night…

Are you familiar with the term "poetic justice"? Yes, that's correct, it was a movie starring Janet Jackson and Tupac Shakur back before the days of the Tupac/Biggie Feud and long before the days Janet's brother got a Biggie with the Smalls. But that's not what I was talkin' about. What I was talking about is that within a week of the Rangers getting Jaromir Jagr, another of their overpriced, overhyped studs goes down as Eric Lindros suffers his 8th career concussion! Not that I was counting or anything, but Johnny La please help me with my math here, is this the 2nd or 3rd one P.S.? And of course, by P.S. I mean "post-Stevens". Eric, could I get you some Advil and a glass of water? Oh and Jaromir, I'd like you to meet your new linemate, Jed Ortmeyer…

So I'm writing out the transactions this week and two things happened. First, I realized that by acquiring Chris Neil, Biscuit In The Bassinet owner Neil Eskow has become the first league owner to ever pick himself up! Well I heard that things got lonely in Nick Fotiu's bar the other night and Don Cardoza "picked himself up" also, but again, I digress. Neil picks up Neil? Can this sort of thing actually happen again? Well unless Brian Oulette of Whalers On Ice decides to add Capitals backup goalie Maxime Ouelette to his squad, I think we're safe for awhile… Then I jotting down the Phantoms move and I write Phantoms Drop Denis, well at least I thought that's what I wrote for you see the "D" in Denis accidentally became a "P" (yes, hello Mr. Freud, I'll be right with you!) so I had Ronny D and J.R. dropping Penis (which of course is pronounced "pih-knee" by the way). Sorry 'bout that boys! Perhaps you'll want to ask your doctor if Levitra is right for you?

Quick mid-column Super Bowl pick. Carolina 21, Patriots 13. Crazy you say? Well, I've got a 1-3 box so why not root for it?… So now that we've got two of those Mars Rovers inching along the Red Planet searching for water don't you think that if they find some, NASA ought to land a Zamboni on Mars so Gary Bettman can expand the NHL once again?… Quick quiz! Who's the very next person you think of as soon as you see Democratic hopeful John Kerry on CNN? Is it Cesar Romero as The Joker, Paul Lynde of Hollywood Squares, center square fame or that Cold Miser guy from Year Without A Santa Claus?… This week on NHL Center Ice, some new "reality programming": Capitals owner Ted Leonsis takes on everybody sitting in Section 213. And you thought that new Donald Trump show was cool…

So now that Bob Keeshan, the man who played Captain Kangaroo, is dead I ask you this? Who's going to coach the Flyers? Maybe we could bring former WWF manager Paul Bearer back? Now ain't that an ugly set of triplets? Captain Kangaroo, Paul Bearer and Ken Hitchcock. Separated at birth? I sure hope so for their mother's sake… Next I'd like to print a correction from last week's column, and I'm going to do it Clue-style. That was Bobby Brady, breaking the vase, with the basketball. And not the football as originally stated. Thank you to my brother Brian of Canada Dry for being the first of many to point that out to me…

Dany Heatley's back. Quick, hide the keys to the Zamboni!… So if I sent out this week's "the stats are up" email and changed the subject line to "Hi!" and claimed I had attached a JPG of the entire female cast of The O.C. wearing nothing but goalie pads, would you click on the attachment and open it? For those of you who answered "no f*ckin' way man, I don't want to get that MyDoom virus on my PC", thank you for practicing safe computing. For the rest of you, well I'd suggest Norton Anti-Virus and a shot of penicillin…

Well it's Oscar time! No I'm not talking about the green guy who lives in the trash can on Sesame Street. I'm talking about the gold guy who goes to the best actors, actresses and movies of the year. And have you seen the nominees for Best Hockey Picture this year? No, I'm sorry to say that Slap Shot 2 did not get a nomination, but these movies did:

Penguins of The Caribbean - Set sail with Captain Mario as he tries to get Disney to buy his hockey club!