Hello everyone and welcome back from the All Star Break. It was a short week game wise with teams playing only 2 or 3 games so you won't see much movement in the standings, although Canada Dry's lead has been shaved by a few ice cubes… So how about that All Star Game? Was that actually a little defense I saw being played out there? A 6 - 4 East victory over the West meant I lost all three of my All Star Game bets. First off, I had over-11 in for goals scored. I also had the West straight up to win. And sadly enough, would you believe this final bet I lost which I thought was the closest I was ever going to get to a sure thing? I teased the "under" for the number of naked woman appearing during the game all the way up to 3 and a half. Then what happens? They've got this pop group playing between periods one and two and by the time I was done counting all the Barenaked Ladies, I realized that I'd been had and I'd lost my "sure thing" bet! Oh well, easy come easy go…

Other happenings over the All Star break included the Flyers giving up on yet another goalie and trading for Phoenix's Sean Burke. Now I don't know how you feel about this move, but given the way Sean's played this season, I think the Flyers might have been better off with Delta Burke in goal instead of Sean Burke! At least she'd cover more of the goal area. And the Philadelphia goalie coach could always improve her hand speed by teaching her to snatch Twinkies out of the air with her catching glove… Staying with the goalies what's happened in Detroit? First we find out that Dominik Hasek's groin couldn't complete the comeback and now he's shelved for the rest of the season. Then on Wednesday night, the once and future starting goalie Curtis Joseph goes down. So no Dominator, no Cujo, leaving the Red Wings with just Manny Legace and Marc Lamothe to mind the nets. Marc Lamothe? Yes, we last saw him fighting the big green reptile on Saturday afternoon. Everyone remembers "Godzilla versus La Mothe-thra" don't they?

And just how bad are the Pittsburgh Penguins? With a losing streak nearing record length and a home losing streak already in the double digits, all three fans at The Igloo are starting to get restless. I think it's time to clean out the Igloo don't you? Heck, they've already traded away all their stars, so why not just cut everybody else and get some real penguins on the ice? Yeah, I say we set up Burgess Meredith and Danny DeVito as the new Pittsburgh #1 defensive pairing. Then we get Chilly Willy skating first line center between Opus (of Bloom County Fame) and Tennessee Tuxedo (from the old Underdog cartoons). Oh yeah, we need a goalie too don't we? But the current Penguins obviously don't use one, do they? Anyway, between the pipes, we'd have that Bud Ice penguin! Couldn't be much worse and it sure as heck would be more entertaining, no? "Bottle save and a beaut! Doobie, doobie doo"…

Speaking of entertainment, there was a good article last week on ESPN.COM's Page 2 in which the writer tried to come up with some comical ideas to improve the game of hockey. One idea was to have Zamboni races instead of a shootout to break ties. Now that's a good idea granted, however, our own Icing Happens owner John Wrobel took things a step further, greatly enhancing the concept and giving it a little regional flair. So without further ado (or any ado for that matter, including Bob McAdoo), I present you the News & Notes comedic debut of John "Icing Happens" Wrobel:

"…the one about the zamboni races to break ties was good. Got me thinking about some possibilities for zamboni modifications to spice things up between periods. Down In Nashville and Atlanta they could install riser kits and put giant knobby tires on them, and maybe have them crush a few of those cars they like to drive out on the ice between periods. The Good Ol' Boys would love that! Maybe to attract more Latino and African American fans they could do the opposite and lower the chassis until they're barely off the ice and install those mufflers that make the loud Brrrrrrrrrrrrrp.....Brrrrrrrrrrrrp noise every time they hit the gas. Throw some Diablo spinning rims on those bad boys! Or picture this.... The El Camboni. Half zamboni, half pickup! For the folks in warmer climes add a contraption that turns the ice shavings into rainbow Sno-Cones and have the vendors sell them during the game. (Those with the players' blood would go to random drawings of lucky (or unlucky) seat holders. Lastly, instead of Score-O, let three fans who get autographed programs fire slap shots at the zamboni driver. (If you've hit golf balls you know what fun that is!) The person who registers the most driver hits gets to come back at the end of the year and try to win what else? A zamboni!"

Very nice! Thank you Johnny for the contribution. So what is it with everyone else in this league not named John? We've had myself (yes I have a name other than The Commish), Johnny La and now John Wrobel contribute to this column thus far this season. Anyone else care to take a shot at contributing some humor? Seriously, if you've been holding something back send it over and I'll be more than happy to publish it in this space! Even if your name's not John…

I realize this column's running a little long this week so I'm gonna save my comments on the rules changes proposed this week for next week's News & Notes. Of course, you know I'm not gonna have too many positive remarks for any rule that makes Martin Brodeur "just another goaltender", but I am all in favor of any ruling that makes all the goalies take those king size pillows off their legs.

Remember to vote in this week's final Westers tribe Survivor poll. Next week we take the remaining 3 members from each tribe and combine them into one for our NHL Survivor "stretch run"! So on that note, along with NHL non-Survivors Mr. Oliwa last week and Mr. Theodore this week, I'm outta here! But not before asking if any of you have gone to the theatre to see "Miracle" yet? If you have, let me know how it was, I'm trying to decide what movie I want to see this coming Sunday and I'm torn between seeing "Miracle", "Mystic River" or "The Return of the LA Kings" for the fourth time. 'til next week…